Wherever you are || crb

twenty-three

I walk into the coffee shop Jesse asked me to meet him at. I look over to see he was sitting at a table in the far corner.

He saw me come in and lightly smiled. As I went over to him, I noticed he had two drinks, one for me and one for him.

"Hey, J." I smile when I reached him. As I sit down on the chair, I make sure to thank him for the coffee.

"I feel like we haven't seen each other in years." I feel the same way honestly.

In these past few months, he's become my closest friend. I see him almost every day.

But with everything that happened with Colby, I haven't had a chance to see him.

I'm just happy to be able to see him now. "Yeah, it's been a crazy week." I think back.

He swallowed deeply as he looked at me. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

There was seriousness in his voice. I just look at him while I drink my coffee.

"What's up?" I ask curiously. I could tell he was thinking about how to choose his words.

"I don't think Colby is good enough for you." I almost choke on my drink when he said that.

I was a little baffled. I was not expecting him to say that. It took me a minute to process what he said.

"What?" I ask looking at him. I sit my drink down so I can fully listen in to what he has to say.

"Colby's not good for you." I can't believe he's saying this shit. I wonder what prompted him to say this.

"You barely know him." I defend him. I'm always going to defend Colby, no matter what.

I don't care if it's Tyler, Ethan, or Jesse. I'm going to defend him no matter the situation.

"Yeah, but I saw the way he was acting at the New Years party." He brought up. I knew he was going to bring it up.

"Did you even hear what he was talking about?" I ask starting to get a little pissed off.

I just don't know how he's so calm right now. "No, but I didn't have to." I roll my eyes towards him.

I'm so baffled I don't even know what to say. "You don't know what all we've been through." I tell him.

"I know. But in the time I knew you, he was making you either sad or upset." He spoke with his whole heart.

I lean back, crossing my arms. "What are you trying to get at?" I feel like I already know the answer.

I just wanted to hear what he had to say and if I was right. He nervously chewed on his lip and I could see him gain confidence.

"During these past few months of being on tour with you, I've fallen in love with you, Cassie." My heart skipped a beat.

I sat there for a moment, trying to get my thoughts together. Jesse is a really great guy.

He protected me in Mexico City, he's made me laugh when I felt down, and we both have the same passion with dancing.

But that's the thing, Colby got here first. He was the one who showed me what it felt like to be loved.

Even though we broke up, he still cared for me. Colby literally came to see me on my moms grave whenever I was upset.

He's fought a dude in a bar when he made me uncomfortable and let me cry in his arms over Ethan.

Colby's my day one. And maybe if I hadn't met him, Jesse would have a chance.

I just shake my head towards him. "Jesse, I'm sorry but it's Colby. It's always going to be him." I tell him.

He shook his head while leaning back in his seat. I could tell he was upset with my decision.

But it's my choice to make, not his or anyone else's. "I figured you would say that." I think it sounded more harsh than he wanted.

I just frown as I look at him. "I can't help it that he was here first." I tell him.

I couldn't tell if he was upset that I chose Colby and he's lashing it out on me on me.

But it sure as hell looks like he's truly mad. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him.

He barely looks over at me. "Maybe if we never came back this past week, you could've maybe fallen for me." He thought.

I just shook my head. "Colby needed me here, that's why we flew back." I think it was destiny.

Him getting into the wreck made me realize how I still love him. He then frowns, realizing how I'm not gonna stop.

"Look, I'm sorry that this happened. In the past year and a half, he's the only thing stable in my life." I tell him honestly.

"I really hope you understand that." He thinks for a moment, and then nods his head.

I could see his Adams Apple bobbing a little. "I do. I was just really hoping you had fallen for me too." He frowned.

I feel bad for breaking his heart like this. I just don't want to lead him on with false feelings.

He needs to know it's always going to be Colby. I don't know what it is about him, but he's the only one I'll ever love.

"Can we still be friends? I don't think I can handle you being upset with me during tour." I ask him hopeful.

Even though I turned him down, I still want to be really good friends with him.

I would hate to have him mad at me. "Of course we're still going to be friends, Cassie." He admitted.

"I mean, it's gonna take me awhile to shake the feelings. I care about you so if happiness is with him, then it's okay." He sadly says.

Even though the conversation was rocky in the beginning, I'm happy that we eventually made up.

I don't want to us to not be friends anymore, I care too much about him. I just want him to find a girl who will like him back.

"We actually talked about you last night. He said he wants to meet you." I tell him honestly.

He shifted in his seat, scrunching his nose a little bit. "Not yet. Maybe after tour. I need to get used to you as a friend first."

That's totally understandable. This whole coffee date thing went better than I expected.

I'm just happy that we got to talk about everything. When we finished our drinks, we made our separate ways.

He wanted to get some things done at his apartment while I go check on Colby. He knew I was going to meet Jesse.

When I get into the house I notice he's sitting outside. I go out there so I could see him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, grabbing his attention. He turned over towards me and smiled.

"You're back soon. How did it go?" He asked causing me to grimace.

I sit down next to him as he locked his phone. "Well, he admitted his feelings for me." I tell him.

Hes didn't look shocked at it. He just shook his head. "I knew he had a thing for you." He seemed really proud of himself.

He then seemed like he was starting to overthink a little bit. "Do you have feelings for him?" He asked worriedly.

The fact that he was asking this proved that he still had feelings for me. I smiled to myself a little bit.

"Of course not." I tell him honestly. He smiled a little but instantly dropped it whenever he noticed I saw it.

He furrowed his eyebrows towards me. "You aren't into him?" He asked a little shocked, trying to make sure.

"How can I when the one I want is right in front of me?"