Brute

23. Max

Deciding to spend an extra day in Antwerp was probably going to be the highlight of Max's week, he'd spent the afternoon gaming, gone out for dinner and the rest of the night again gaming until he fell asleep with a console in his hand. He couldn't recall when, but at some point Kalki had just left, not saying a word about anything.

Max was back home, in Monaco. His apartment didn't feel nearly as warm or welcoming, now that Evi wasn't waiting to see him. Everything was so clean, he found a note on the kitchen counter under a set of keys- those were Evi's

I've taken my things. Decided to leave the key here for you. I hope the rest of your season goes by well.
-Evi

He was done. He was tired, he wanted closure, he didn't even understand what went so wrong. She was being unfair to him, he wanted answers and he would get them, one way or another. There was a narrow chance she was still in town, and he knew where. He took off running to where she could possibly be.

And his gamble had paid off, he could see her in the balcony of the apartment. Carrying her baby niece in one arm, pointing towards the scenery and smiling. The little girl was babbling with delight. Max marched into the building with purpose, climbing the stairs in a sense of urgency, like she would get away.

He rang the doorbell, a moment later Evi's older sister was facing him. "Oh! Hi there." She said.

"Can I talk to her? Please?" He could hear the desperation in his own voice.

"Evi, someone is here to see you. Come on in." She invited him in.

Evi froze as soon as their eyes met, he wasn't completely ready for this moment to happen yet either. The baby was still babbling excitedy, Evi handed her to her mother and led Max to her room. They could talk privately.

"I'm not here to change your mind, I know I've lost my chance at that." He looked at her, "I just... I deserve to know what went wrong."

"A lot." She sighed, "A lot of things went wrong Max."

"Like what!? You didn't ever tell me you just- you just left one day without even telling me what I could have done differently." He sighed.

"You're so lost in your own mind all the time, and you never shared what was bothering you. Getting you to open up was such a struggle I got tired of, Max."Her face was red from holding back tears.

"I'm sorry."

"There we go again." She laughed wiping the tear that managed to escape. "I'm sick of trying to get you to open up and I'm sick of hearing you say sorry."

"I wish I had something better to offer but I can't. I'm still working on that, and you don't deserve to go through having to be with someone who's struggling to just be a normal person." He hugged her.

"Having some problems doesn't make you less normal, it's just a lot. I'm sorry I can't be there for you, it's selfish of me but..."

"I know you've had issues in the past too, being with me is just going to make you feel like you've relapsed."

"I will always love you, a piece of me will never quite be able to leave you behind. Maybe if we had met later, things could have panned out differently." She pulled him closer.

"I will always love you too." He held her, looking into her eyes. Reminding himself this could be the last time they'd be so close. "Can we not be unfriendly towards each other?"

"Of course, but please be kind to me. Give me my space, this is my first heartbreak and I need my time to heal. I'm always rooting for you okay?" She wiped away the tears that had managed to escape.

"Of course." He gave her a kiss on the forehead, pulling her closer for one last hug before they parted ways.

Right person, wrong time. He shook his head, Evi was devastated, and he knew there was no one to blame for it other than himself. Once again, he found himself in the middle of too many things happening at once- too much of noise in his mind to actually focus.

He got home and threw himself into work, if he could just distract his mind off everything for a while he wouldn't mind it. He needed it more than anything. He got onto a call with Raymond who briefed him about all the sponsor events and campaign he would be doing, later a video meeting with both trackside and factory engineers, who wanted his feedback for future setups and planning.

He looked at the clock, he had managed to escape the whole day. It was nine in the night, and then the loneliness hit. It hit him like a bus, for the first time in years he found himself crying. Crying inconsolably. There was no one to stop the tears, no one to shame him for them, he let it all out. The anger, the disappointment, the pain, nothing was going to stay bottled up.

He looked at his phone, a reminder popped up- it was for the weekend getaway he had planned with Evi, that wasn't going to happen now. He tried to remember the last time he did something by himself, just for himself. He realised he had this fear of being alone, he made his mind. He would go on this day trip he had planned all by himself, he didn't need anyone.

Max sent Raymond a text, he didn't want to be disturbed for the next few days at all, he'd meet him next week and until then he was going off the radar. He thought of letting Kalki know, but she already knew too much, he didn't need her running her brain too much. He felt stupid about opening up to her about something so personal.