These Paths We Tread (Autobot x OC)

XXVIII. Roll Away Your Stone

**some language use

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He was there waiting for her when she arrived, his back to her with optics gazing at the ocean. The sun painted him with a golden light, though from the back it appeared as a shadow. She watched him silently, her resolve quivering, but still standing. She clenched her fists as she contemplated going back, the thought of the incident still fresh in her mind, but then she remembered her reasons—her own monstrous features. She lifted her head and saw through the shadow to the silver, and bravely moved forward.

He briefly glanced back as she approached, then carefully eased himself down with the same grace as he usually did. She was soon beside him and sat, though did not look at him. He did not look at either, and the silence was a heavy wall between them. It was not unbreakable, however, and she knew it deep down underneath all the pain and fear and worry. They only needed the right tools, but where to start? How did one apologize for being so selfish? Surely a simple “sorry” would not suffice, but then what would?

She found there was so much to say—so much she wanted to let him know. Yet, the words would not come, latching onto her throat, and refusing to obey her. She frowned, pulling her legs closer and wrapping her arms tighter. Beside her the silver wheeled-feet shifted, though she dared not use her powers to reach out and discern why. She didn’t want to discover something she didn’t want.

“Um…” he began, or tried to, apparently at as much of a loss as her.

“I…” was all she managed to force out, too, and they lapsed back into silence. Another layer of the wall was put down, and they suffered for it. Both moved uncomfortable, neither the sea breeze nor warmth of the sun serving as comfort to their dilemma.

Catherine glanced up at him a few times, and noticed his face appeared to be wrought with confusion and difficulty. She could not help feeling the spark of hope in her chest—the thought he might be trying to fix things. She quickly smothered it with pessimism, reminding herself that hope only made things worse, and things were bad enough already. And yet, each time she looked up she felt the hope spark anew, burning through the smog that brewed within her.

“I… I’m… sorry,” he said at last, and it was so weak and pained that she was forced to look up at him. His optics were dimmed and full of shame, and she soon felt it, too.

“It’s… it’s okay…”

He shook his head, “No, it’s not.”

“Sideswipe—” she began, but he looked at her directly, and she became silent.

“It’s not okay. That—what you saw… I… I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just… I… We’ve… My brother… He and I—we’ve been separated. I… I need him, and I haven’t been able to feel him for so long now,” he spoke, touching his chest; right where his spark was. “I feel empty without him—incomplete. I know… I know it might be hard to understand. Even the others have trouble, but… It’s… painful being without him for so long and… and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have him back, and so I went after you because I knew you could, but then you, well, rejected me, and… and that was worse than anything a ‘Con could do or had done. To be refused my brother—to be refused my other half… It was unthinkable. But… But I wasn’t thinking. I was wrong. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did.”

He kept her gaze for a few more moments before he finally looked away, his optics dimming more as he pulled himself tighter together. She could feel her heartbeat racing; elated by the fact her hope had not been unfounded. Sideswipe was back, she knew, and whatever he had been before was gone. For how long, she didn’t know, but, at the very least, right now, Sideswipe was back.