STALKER

Chapter 10 - 23rd May, 2022

The day started with my phone going off early and a friend inviting me to breakfast. I shot out of bed and was out the door in 20 minutes. Good decisions should only take a second to make. The day got even better when around noon, the club called me and asked if I wanted a couple of extra shifts....yes PLEASE! It wasn't as if anything earth-shattering happened but when I walked in the front door of my Grandmother's house, I realised, it was the best I'd felt in a very long time.

For the rest of the afternoon I planned to re-read the first journal, the small notebook, and Granddad's flight log to see if I could create a more accurate timeline. The urge to jump was niggling at me and I needed to come up with a place where, I could get up close and personal. I wanted to jump during the day, no hiding in the shadows. Perhaps, even interact with someone....a particular someone. In the mood I was in, I felt I could get away with anything....I was hanging out for another adrenaline rush. My craving for it was making a sham of my need for cigarettes....which is saying something. I now understand why some guys take things to the extreme, taking ridiculous risks base jumping or free soloing......that adrenaline rush is the most intoxicating, thrilling drug and the euphoria afterwards, is so far beyond anything I've ever felt before. I couldn't wait for my nex thit.

The weather was too good to stay indoors and I set myself up on the old iron lacing table in the pergola at the bottom of the garden. A few beers later, I had written up my notes, eventually lining up different entries. The garden was so quiet and private and I still had my happy buzz going on. It was nice to puff away without feeling guilty that I was annoying anyone. My jump was taking shape, I had a beer in one hand, a cig in the other, want more could I want.

After a while I was getting close to choosing a day but I was still short of pin pointing the time best to intercept my target. I told myself not to push it, enjoy the planning as well as the jump. A couple of hours passed and my brain stopped functioning. I piled up the books. I'd found the perfect place and time. My feet were itching to go ASAP. I was excited at the prospect of a daytime jump, to actually try and cross paths with someone. To be honest, I wasn't sure who I wanted to meet more Granddad...or Jules. Initially, I thought Granddad was the centre of everything that has happened, but after the last jump I'm curious about Jules.

I drank the last of the beer, leaned back in the chair and soaked up the sun. It didn't have the harshness of summer, instead, it warmed my skin gently and lulled me to sleep so quickly I didn't notice slipping into the darkness.

(dreaming) I'm walking the path to the factory again. There are noises every where but I'm not concerned about being caught. The villagers don't come here anymore. They're to afraid of unexploded bombs in and around the factory to chance coming here to salvage anything useful. Inside, there is only darkness. I meeting my lover, waiting for him in the burnt out shell that use to be the Spinning Mill. I hate the smell of the factory, the mould, rotting timbers, the acrid, smell of burnt metal and rubber. Yet, I meeting him here again. This is the second time. I'm ashamed of myself, we rut like animals for the briefest time, on a filthy blanket in a dark corner of this horrible place. I hate that I feel like this. I hate the pretending. I hate all of it but I can't stop myself. His face flickers for a moment in the torch light. Damn...all my shame melts when I set eyes on him. He kisses me so hard it feels more like he's punishing me for being here. Then I'm being dragged along behind him and pushed against a wall. He kisses me again, harder and more desperately. He hasn't even spoken a word to me yet. His hands unbutton my coat and pull up my shirt, while his mouth never leaves mine. It's all frantic movements, grunts and tremble legs. When he grinds his lower half against me, sliding his cold hands under my shirt and splaying them across my back, I can't help but moan into his mouth and whisper his name....Jules."