STALKER

Chapter 79 - 1st August, 2022 Still

Inertia had taken over and it felt like ages before I could get up and put the bottle back in the box. I took it and the Box Brownie that had sat with it for the last week or so and put them in front of Weirdo.

He hasn't realised yet that our little romance is over and that no matter how we tried to avoid our destined path, fate had nudged us back onto it. It would take a while before my emotions settled down and I had complete control of myself again. Even so, in amongst the churning mess that was going on inside me, I, me, the real me was sad and angry. The old adage rings true, you only realise how much you want something when you lose it.  I lit up and took long satisfying drags until I calmed down.

The residual emotions of Jules, John, and Martin were like threads, intertwined, rolled tightly into a ball in my chest, impossible to untangle one from the other. John's hate trumped them all, even Martin's inconsolable grief trapped in the bottle was no match. It took all my strength to control the whole mess.  I needed time to push it all down completely, let it fade but I didn't have that luxury.  Weirdo wanted an explanation now and I knew I couldn't make him change his mind.

"So...now you know?" Weirdo pushed his hair off his face and leaned across the table. His eyes were full of confusion.  His face was pale, his freckles dark against his skin, and his full long lips were pulled tight into a grimace. I'd kissed those lips but now as the anger licked at my insides I was repulsed.

Then as if I needed to be put under more pressure Granddad appeared. His dark presence looming in the doorway. He was swirling violently, his silhouette expanding and shrinking into a misshaped form. He didn't come in, just stood there. This is what he'd been waiting for, Weirdo's judgment coming down on him like it did in his last life.  He didn't care he was breaking my heart in the process. In death John was only about revenge, he would never be at peace.  His hatred of Martin was the only reason he existed.

"Yes, I know everything now." Here we go. I took a deep breath. "The thing in the box didn't belong to you back then..." I waved at somewhere in the past. "But yes, I suppose you could say it does belong to you now. I never realised it until today. I swear." Half of me was screaming that if I had known I would have strangled you while you slept....but that wasn't me.  The other half wished I'd never opened the door for a delivery months ago and bought all this down on us.  I pushed down these thoughts.

"I wish I had read the bottle sooner. If I had, nothing would have happened between us and this would be a lot easier." He went to reach for my hand but I pulled away.  Another big breath, it was time for the big reveal and I was dreading how Weirdo take it.  I needed another cigarette not matter how much it offended his delicate nose.  Fuck him.

I looked at the wall behind him where all the photos were pinned to the wall. I got up on shaky legs and walked over to them, I stood for a moment examining them, all the familiar faces. Tears were starting to well up and my throat tightened. This was so friggin hard.

I took one from the wall and sat opposite Weirdo at the table. I set the photograph down in front of him. It was the tiny one with the family group. The photograph I had taken. Fate was a bitch, if she thought that was a funny twist.

The tip of my finger went down next to Martin. "That's you. Martin Berger. 16 years old.  The cologne you wear is his."   I pointed at Jules.  "Martin's cousin Jules Willem 23 years old."   I went on after taking a quick look at Weirdo's horrified face, realisation dawning on him with every word I said. Then his brows furrowed. "Why do you react to it?" He was trembling now.

"This is John. Granddad." Weirdo turned around acknowledging he knew John was nearby. And here comes the bombshell. "John and Jules were lovers."

I waited until he took it all in, as if anyone could without years of therapy. His brain was probably short-circuiting at that very moment. It had taken me months to completely get a handle on things.