September 12th, 1882
I felt better today. Rested.
There is a rumor that we may be under attack, so my journaling may come to a pause as my mother usually panics and shuts down because it reminds her of our father. She has been strong and has hidden all her feelings and emotions since our father died. She doesn't know this but I have heard her crying in the middle of the night, talking to herself... well she thinks our father can hear her so she talks to him and begs him to come back. She tells him she doesn't think any of us children will end up married, that none of us take it seriously and she is scared she will always have to provide for us. She tells him she is tired and lonely.
I just wish he was here. I wish the war wasn't coming. I have a feeling if this war is coming my four brothers won't be here much longer but be gone and drafted in without a choice. Another death is to come. God knows that will break my mother even more. I don't know how much more any of us can take, if my brothers leave my sister will try to fun off with that guy... and end up alone somewhere and lost. It will just be me and my mother alone and the weight depends on me to take care of everything.
I feel even more invisible and exhausted tonight.
Goodnight.
YOU ARE READING
The Journal Of Martlina 1882
FantasyThe Journal of a young woman living in 1882, when writing and reading were just granted to women. When a man runs the world and a woman just lives in it. A story about finding love, war, and balance just to survive.
