Their Broken Angel

Chapter Seven

I don't know why I thought that I'd be able to sleep in a new environment, let alone a room with another human being in it. No, my trauma could never allow me to function in any way, shape, or form that resembles a decent, functional person. 

Instead, I'm stuck tossing and turning because the bed is too soft. I mean how messed up do you have to be for it to freak you out this much to be on a bed? Does it make sense? No. Is it real and happening to me? Yes. I always thought that if by some miracle, I was able to sleep on a bed again, I would sink into the pillow-like depths and instantly have the best sleep of my life. Yet another wasted fantasy. 

I've been stuck here, tossing and turning for hours. Literal hours. I've watched the little numbers on the digital clock by the bed tick and tock away, too afraid to get off the bed and move around. I don't know if I'm allowed to move or not. I know he's asleep but I have no idea how heavy he sleeps or if he'd be mad at me for not appreciating his gift. 

I want desperately to just sleep on the floor. It's what I'm used to. I don't like it, but it's comforting. Every time I move on the bed, I sink deeper, it doesn't feel stable. I feel like I could get lost in the fluffiness. What if I was too distracted by the comfort of the bed that I didn't wake up on time? I wouldn't have my chores done. I'd be punished. No, the best thing to do is risk him waking up now, and sleep on the floor.

As carefully as possible, I crawl off the bed and pad across the floor to the corner where my poor blanket resides. Walking softly to the walk-in closet, I'm about to close myself in when a tired voice reaches my ears.

"Bambina? What are you doing?" Alessandro's voice is rough from sleep and I instantly freeze, my body tense in apprehension.

"I-I, n-nothing. I w-was j-just m-moving. I-I d-didn't m-mean t-to w-wake y-ou." I stutter out, staring at my feet, my eyes wide with terror. I hear him sigh softly and stand, walking towards me. With every step he takes, I can't help but quake more and more until I'm trembling to the point I can't stand. By the time he gets to me, I'm a shaking mess on the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" I sob. "I'll never do it again. Please don't hurt me." I can barely manage words through my sobs. "Don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me." I repeat over and over, crying out in fright when my trembling body is lifted off the ground with ease.

He carries me over to the bed which only makes me panic more. "NO!" I scream. "Anything but that! Please, sir, I'll do anything. Please!" I beg. Alessandro freezes and I can feel his arms tighten around me in anger. But by some miracle, he grants my request and carries me to the couch. 

Gently holding me on his lap, my brother rubs his hands up and down my back, trying to soothe me. "Ember, sorella, breathe. It's okay, just breathe." Nothing he says is making any lasting impact on my brain. It takes me a while before I realize he's not going to hurt me.

Slowly, I start trying to breathe. If you can count the terrible gasping sounds I made as breathing. "That's it. Breathe." Alessandro's calming voice helps me to get a hold of my emotions. I don't know what it is about the man, but he has the ability to calm me with just a few words. 

After what seems like hours, I'm finally calm, with the occasional hiccup. Alessandro keeps me securely on his lap, clinging to his chest like a koala. Tilting my chin up to look at him, Alessandro gently wipes the tears from my cheeks, ignoring me when I flinch.

"You never have to fear me or any of your other siblings hurting you. Never. Do you understand that Ember?" He asks, softly enough not to frighten me, but with enough power or me to know he means it.

"I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." I say, looking anywhere but his eyes.

"You are already forgiven angioletto, but you didn't answer my question. Do you understand that we will never hurt you?" I hesitate, looking back at the few memories I've made with him so far.