Spirals

the ocean

I woke up sprawled out in the midst of the sounds of the ocean, thoroughly soaked and disoriented, with my back against coarse sand. I was miserable, physically; not only had my wounded arm lost all feeling, but I also had a pounding headache, and my body was so sore that moving it was all but farfetched.

Emotionally, I felt a sort of painful nothing.

I remembered what the copy told me, and what it did to me. And, to no one in particular, I whispered:

"What did I do to deserve this?"

I heard the ocean flare up, and a small, cool wave washed ashore and lapped my wounded arm, though I could not completely feel it. I took a breath, and it hurt my throat but it felt good to take in the air, so I lay there a moment, unmoving, breathing gently as the ocean slid onshore and felt around my arms and my legs and my face.

"An ocean left unbridled," I said aloud, "owned by something that wants to... replace me. And yet the ocean has never killed me, and now it chooses to be calm." I let out a puff of air. "Ocean, is it true that you can truly drown me, or do I simply fear for nothing?"

The ocean flared up, and it reached just enough onshore to slip over my face and into my nose and mouth until I choked on it and broke into a fit of coughing that hurt my lungs. Then the ocean receded and brushed softly against my fingers as I recovered.

"How foolish of me," I whispered "to test you, the common denominator of all things in every realm." I laughed softly. "And yet, in my many years of traveling, I have only met one happy, benevolent creature."

I paused, listening to the ocean flow back and forth, feeling it brush against my body, watching the clouds above drift aimless through the sky.

"Ocean, I want to ask you yes or no questions. What is your way of answering yes?"

The ocean splashed against my fingers, eager, lingering just enough to lift them up.

"And what is your way of answering no?"

I heard the ocean lift itself, and I prepared to let it bury me, but the ocean did not touch me until its waters calmed.

"I... will assume that was it. Thank you. I wonder, then, is there anyone that can control you?"

The ocean lifted my hand gently in response.

"Ah... Do they know how to control you?"

I heard the waves crashing then, and I waited for the ocean to brush against me, but I felt nothing.

"Of course."

I lay for another moment, carefully taking in the fresh air, filling my lungs and feeling them throb at the effort. Every inhale stirred up the soreness that covered me like a heavy blanket, lifting it and letting it ripple through the rest of me. I felt it all without an opinion. I felt emotionally detached from my body, buried underneath myself and the constant of pain, buried with the fog of numbness, breathing in the fog and staring half-empty at the ocean's sky and feeling, partially, the all-powerful ocean playing curiously with my fingers and toes.

"I wonder..." I inhaled, taking in more this time and testing my limits until my chest was full and its pulsing pain stabbed deep enough to reach me and make me wince. I let the air drag out, vaguely satisfied, and asked:

"Are you a dimensional carryover?"

I felt the ocean recede from its play, and I waited, hearing and feeling nothing more. Then, very gently, it crawled ashore and slipped beneath my fingers, as if it were telling a secret that it was not sure I could handle.

"You are. Then... if you are the common denominator of all realms, and yet you are foreign to them, how do you affect things? Where do you come from? How did you become so large?"

The ocean paused for a moment, letting its waves wash casually ashore before continuing its play as if I hadn't spoken.

"Ah. Well... do you truly want to drown me?"

The water receded again and flared up without touching me, and somewhere I felt a bit of relief from its answer.

"Then... what do you want?"

The ocean went silent.

Too silent.

Not a wave, not a splash. Nothing.