Aaron T x Aaron Z| Oneshots

Not High Enough

Word count: 977

Aaron Z's POV

He couldn't even remember when it was that he'd gotten into drugs. It was some time during 4*Town's peak. Z was at the peak of his career and like so many other artists, the pressure got the best of him.

He'd always had high morals and cared for his body. That was why it surprised the fans and his bandmates so much when they found out. Robaire was the most disappointed. Tae Young tried to get him to stop and Jesse looked at him differently. It was Aaron T who accepted him the most. Maybe it was because he felt the same pressure he did. The fans had different expectations for the two of them. The rest of the bandmates would never know what it was like to be thought of as the same person. The fans loved them. They would never understand.

But T did. Z loved him for that. T never touched drugs but he was always by his side. He always made sure he was okay and tried to be there no matter the time of day. He always lent him his shoulder to lean on and made himself a person he could speak to without judgment.

Z knew that using was hurting T too even though he didn't show it. He hated him for that. He hated that T thought he always had to be strong for him because Z was the one to crumble under the pressure first. In a way, it made him stronger than him. He hated that he wasn't more like T.

Still, he loved him all the same.

They sat on their hotel balcony together while Z held a blunt to his lips. He cupped his hands around his mouth as he flicked his lighter to life and held the flame to the end of his joint. He tucked the lighter into his pocket when it lit and he pulled it from his lips after inhaling a deep breath.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Aaron T looking at him. He couldn't tell how he felt from just observing his facial expressions. What was he thinking about? Z wished that he would just come out and tell him what was on his mind.

T shifted to look away from him, holding his knees close to his chest and looking off to the moon which peaked out from two clouds. It looked like a scene straight out of a 2000s chick flick. T was always the type of person who had to be in constant movement. Even as time passed while they sat together outside and Z's brain became a little less lucid, he could still tell that the man next to him was tense. He hadn't so much shifted in the fifteen minutes they sat there.

Finally, he glanced at Z.

"Are you okay?" He asked him. Z froze at the question. The band had long since disbanded. Robaire was off being successful as a soloist and Tae was doing covers and working on his bird conservatory. Jesse was with his kids in Hollywood which left both Aarons with only each other to lean on.

Of course, he wasn't okay. Z couldn't remember the last time he was. That was why he exhaled and let the smoke leave his lungs. He gave a half-hearted shrug.

"I'm coping," he said to his friend. It wasn't just the band. It was everything. Life was hard and he couldn't seem to get anything right. Surely simply living wasn't supposed to be so difficult. Surely it shouldn't have to feel like a chore to simply wake up in the morning and get out of bed.

Why did eating and cleaning and carrying out the basic tasks of life seem so pointless? Z spared a glance at T who gave him a tight-lipped sad smile. He wondered why T was pretending to be happy around him. He should have known that he didn't have to.

Z took another slow drag from his blunt before exhaling slowly. He tilted his head back and let his eyes slide shut as he imagined better days. They seemed so distant though they were only less than a year ago.

Suddenly, Z felt a light hand touch his. He glanced down to see T holding it.

"I'm here for you, you know?" He asked him. Z nodded slightly. He didn't know why his friend spoke the words so suddenly. "I'm not going anywhere, Zee," T told him. His hand held his a little tighter and Z wondered exactly what was going on in his head.

"So..." T stopped short and chewed on his bottom lip. He shifted to face him with his entire body and held his gaze with his own eyes. "So you can't leave me either."

His words knocked the breath out of Z and he dropped his blunt and let out a wheezy cough. The small tube slipped off of the balcony and to the streets below where it would be run over by a rushing car.

"I'm not going anywhere," Z replied to his friend who held onto more than just his hand. He let their fingers intertwine. His other hand went to the smaller man's hair. He ran his fingers through it gently.

"You have to promise me," Aaron T whispered to him. Even though he spoke softly, his voice was determined and strong. Despite how loose his head felt from his body, he nodded.

"I promise," Z said to him. He wondered how much he meant it. At the time it felt like he said so with his entire heart.

"Good," T replied. "I'll hold you to that." He then held the side of his face, his thumb brushing over his cheek. T pressed his lips to him as if to seal his promise and lock it into his memory forever. 

Sorry it's so short!! Hope you enjoyed ;)

Thank you for reading!!