Blood On Her Hands

Chapter 11

Darren called me in the morning to ask if I could print something out for him and bring it to his job. He claimed the printer was broken, which I found strange considering his company had been well enough along to not have any printer problems for a while. I didn’t mind though. In fact, I was delighted with the excuse to go and see him. 

I printed out the pages he emailed me, tucked them into a folder I placed in my purse, and hopped on the bus to his office building. 

The security guard recognized me and buzzed me into the building. I muttered a thank you and crossed the lobby to the row of elevators on the other side. The building was staggeringly tall. Unfortunately, Darren's company hadn’t grown quite large enough for them to take up a whole building so they shared the place with multiple other small businesses. 

As I arrived at the elevators, I was spotted by the janitor. His name was Mike and I’d known him since Darren’s company was just him and some of his college friends trying to make it work. He had been employed here long before Darren settled in but said his job got far more lively when I had shown up. He was one of those old men who boarded the line of being sweet and being creepy. 

“Mickey! I thought I’d never see your face again,” he said, the flecks of gray in his beard catching the clinical lighting of the lobby. He had lost all the hair on his head but his facial hair was always thick and trimmed. He smiled big, a grin that was white and stretched across the whole length of his face. “How are you holding up? Darren gave a short summary of what happened in passing. I’m very sorry for your sister.” 

“Thank you. I’m doing alright,” I answered. It was surprisingly true. Even after my odd encounter with Vincent the day before, I felt an out of place level of serenity. I speculated it was because I felt as if I had passed a test. I didn’t utterly crumble at dinner while we pretended to be something we weren’t. I had proven to myself that I could do it, I could pull this thing off. I suddenly felt like the most put together out of everyone in my family - like I could have been their rock if only they didn’t think so lowly of my emotional capacity. 

“I’m sorry you’ve gone through so much,” he said, one hand on the mop he had been using on the floor and the other on his cart of supplies. He paused, a shadow of grief crossing his eyes like clouds in the sky. Softly, gently, he asked, “Have you ever thought of packing up and moving away? Leaving everyone and everything behind for a fresh start?” 

I didn’t answer right away. The suggestion took me off guard because of how strange it sounded. It would have been easier to absorb had he said move with my family, take a vacation with them, or something like that. Leaving everyone behind after I had lost a family member? Perhaps I was misunderstanding him. 

“No,” I finally said. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I got a sudden chill. I hugged my cardigan closer to me. “Never thought of that.” 

“Remember, it’s always an option. You’re still so young. There’s nothing tying you down." He looked up past the ceiling as if to reference the upper floors of the building. “Boyfriend or no boyfriend.” 

I simply smiled. Mike and I had many great conversations when I visited Darren’s job. Whether it was in the elevator up to see Darren or waiting for him outside his office. Today, I couldn’t say that I understood what Mike was saying. 

I pressed the button next to the elevator and it opened automatically. I waved goodbye to Mike and let the doors close as I took a deep breath. As the elevator traveled to the seventh floor, I pulled the folder of papers out of my purse. 

I was proud to think that Darren was able to get his company to where it was now. Even if their printer still broke down here and there. 

Darren was a business major in college and had schemed up an idea for a product to make with his roommates. They sold phone chargers that charge phones using solar power. All one had to do was put the charger's battery in direct sunlight - like next to a window - while you charged your phone. People were very much interested in the product. In fact, the second there was word about it in the industry, manufacturers were trying to copy it. However, Darren’s company remained known as the original and sold the highest quality version. Everything else was very much a rip off.