The Secrets She Kept

Chapter 8

I found myself giving into Luca as he pressed his mouth and body against mine. He kissed me so urgently it made me feel as though I needed his mouth against mine. Like I was addicted to his taste. As if my heart were going to explode. It was the same feeling as it was when I first kissed him. Quickly with one arm, Luca picked me up slowly, carrying me down the hall and into his room. Gently he laid me down in his bed, never loosening his grip. Finally, our lips parted as we gasped for air. Our eyes locked and a smirk began to stretch across his face. "What?" I couldn't help but giggle. "It's the first time you've truly looked me in the eyes since you've been back. They're still mesmerizingly beautiful." He lowered his lips to mine softly kissing me. Suddenly the urgency returned. I began to pull at his shirt, and he chuckled with delight, as he pulled it off and tossed it to the side. I wasn't sure if I'd regret this in the morning, but for now, I desperately needed him. I needed to remember the love I once knew, and let myself have it again. I wanted to be selfish this time, and truly take what I wanted. As dangerous and crazy as I knew this was, there was no way I could deny what I felt for Luca.

I woke the next morning to the sound of my daughter's scream. Jumping up, I quickly grabbed Luca's shirt and ran down the hall to my daughter. Luca was close behind. I entered the room to find Alexa standing over my daughter with some kind of doctor. "What the hell is going on?" I ran to my daughter and scooped her up. "Calm down, she's fine." Alexa rolled her eyes. "Alexa, what is this?" Luca demanded. "You wouldn't listen to me, so I took matters into my own hands. A DNA test." Alexa seemed proud of herself. "What?" Luca's voice was filled with anger. "I'm trying to protect you, Luca, I care about you!" Looking at my daughter who was absolutely terrified, I knew I shouldn't have stayed. I quickly returned to Luca's room with Leah and began to dress myself. "Are you okay baby?" I asked Leah while pulling my clothes back on. "I'm okay momma, they just scared me. I don't want to leave." Her eyes followed me as I walked around the room collecting my things. "We need to go, baby. Uncle Rob is worried." I lied as I grabbed her and carried her downstairs, and straight out the front door. We were halfway to the bus stop when I heard Luca's voice. "Lana! Wait!" I walked faster. "Lana, don't go." Luca caught up to us. "This is exactly why I didn't want to stay Luca. I get distracted for a moment and someone is after my daughter, because of you." I lashed out, feeling stupid for sleeping with him. "She didn't hurt Leah. Alexa is just stupid."

"It's not about Alexa, it's about the chaos you and your family cause."

"I meant everything I said last night, I'd always protect you and Leah."

"Just because you meant it, doesn't mean you can do it." I was cruel. I felt as though I had dug myself deeper into my own grave by sleeping with Luca. It woke something in me that wants Luca, and wants to stay with him. I let myself have him last night, but I can't make that mistake again. Leah is more important than what I may or may not feel for Luca. The bus arrived and I quickly climbed on with Leah. I watched as my four year old suddenly turned sixteen. She stormed into Robbie's house with her arms crossed and ran to our room slamming the door. "Woah, what happened?" Robbie asked while drinking his coffee. "We shouldn't have stayed the night." I responded irritated with myself. "What?" I opened my mouth to explain when Delilah entered wearing Robbie's shirt and smiling. That is, until she saw me. I thought it was best if I pretended her presence here didn't surprise me. "I let him convince us to stay the night, and I shouldn't have, so we came home. Now she's mad at me." I'd never had Leah mad at me. "You tried to take it back but it doesn't work like that. You gave her, her father, and hope that she'd have one big happy family. You can't take it back." I was shocked Delilah was giving me advice but even more surprised that she was right. "I just don't know how to do any of this. I don't know how to put my daughter's life in someone else's hands and trust it. I don't know how to protect her from that family, and I don't know how to do it alone." I ran a hand through my hair. "Suck it up." Delilah's comment pushed me over the edge. "Suck it up, really? You don't know anything about me, or the shit I've had to go through to protect and take care of that child, MY child." I started to yell at her.

"I know you had a choice."

"Wrong, I didn't have a choice. Every decision I make is purely for the well being of Leah."

"You think so?" My blood boiled at her know it all attitude.

"What is your problem with me?"

"You really want to know?" She seemed prepared for this fight.

"You're selfish. You couldn't give your brother the sister he always wanted. You couldn't give Luca a chance to be a father. You couldn't give Leah a real home, or a bedroom, or a father! You come here to your brother, the one who'd put you before everyone else, the one whose house you're staying in, and tell him you're alone!"

"Delilah, stop!" Robbie tried to defend me. "I am alone! You don't understand!" Suddenly I felt it rising in my stomach, the words I never thought would leave my mouth, the truth. "I didn't run away from Luca! I ran away from his cousin...Antonio." It was finally out. I was finally able to say his name. But I shouldn't have. Now that two people know the truth, I'd have to make sure no one else found out. "What?" Both Robbie and Delilah looked confused. "You mean Antonio Del Gatto?" Delilah's eyes widened as she leaned closer. "Yes." I let out a sigh of relief knowing I finally got it out. "What happened?" Delilah asked. "If I tell you both the story, you have to protect it, for Leah. If word gets out, Antonio will come for me." Delilah and Robbie shared a look, then nodded in response. I didn't know how I'd tell them, I'd never told anyone. It wasn't something I was ever going to bring up or even tell anyone about. It was supposed to die with me. But maybe, Robbie and Delilah could help me protect Leah if they knew. They could help keep distance between me and Luca and make sure he never finds out.