The Secrets She Kept

Chapter 28

I only glanced at the first two photos, yet I could still feel the pain. I could feel it again. The pain, and worry over Leah. I remember the burning sensation when I would breathe, and how I could barely open my mouth wide enough for water. I thought I was blind, because I couldn't open my left eye. Most of all I remember how physically exhausted I was that night. That week even. I didn't want to move, not just because of the pain but because of the energy it took to move. This is why I couldn't trust Antonio. Despite the physical pain he put me through, the mental aftermath of the abuse was much worse. Once you've been abused this way, you can't help but look over your shoulder all the time. It's why I never found anyone new. I couldn't trust men anymore. I continued flipping through photos, until one caught my attention. The real Milana Bradley, broken, and empty. The truth is, Antonio never really broke me. I mean, how can you break something that was already broken? "What are you doing?" Luca snuck up behind me. "Nothing." I tried to close the box filled with pictures, only Luca grabbed it before I could. His smile quickly fades when he shuffled through the box. "What is this?" He asked. "That's the last five years of my life." I looked away feeling embarrassed. "Is this?" His eyes widened at the sight of Antonio's work. I only nodded in response. His jaw twitched slightly. "I just, I needed a reminder." I mumbled. "Of what?"

"The reason I shouldn't trust him." I shrugged, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't exactly been honest with you Luca."

"About what?"

"When Antonio took me with him, he was negotiating an engagement. Luca, Antonio is your half brother. Your father had an affair. Antonio isn't going to stop until he takes over what he believes is rightfully his. He said he'll spare you if I marry him. He tried to convince me by saying you aren't trustworthy. Maybe, maybe I'm the one who isn't trustworthy." I'm not sure why I said it, but it was as if the memories brought on guilt for doubting Luca. I felt the need to be truly honest with him, for the first time in a long time. I was going to let my guard down. I'm going to try and really let myself be happy. "You were considering it?" Luca looked hurt.

"Only for your life. It'd be selfish not to consider it, wouldn't it?"

"I always suspected my father had an affair but this? I honestly can't blame Antonio, but we had no control over our father's choices, and he won't have what's mine, not even you."

"You're not upset with me?" I finally met his eyes.

"How could I? You were honest with me. Lana, I may be cold sometimes unintentionally but you could never understand how deep my love for you is. I think even if you had accepted his proposal I wouldn't be angry. You would've done it, for me."

"So what do we do now?" I said more to myself than to Luca. My mind was racing already trying to find a solution.

"I don't think he'll leave anytime soon since he's made it clear he's in love with you." Luca threw his head back, looking at the ceiling while thinking.

"Then let's play his game, only better." I suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, let me accept his proposal."

"What?" Luca's eyes looked like they'd pop out of his skull completely.

"Not really Luca. Let me pretend to accept, I can negotiate for peace for now, and when the time is right, you can hit him when he leasts expects it." Antonio had his fun at playing with my head, it's only right I return the favor.

"Milana Bradley, I love you." Luca chuckled, pulling me close to him.

"I love you too." It was time I started living the kind of life I wanted. I've had enough of living my life at the convenience of everyone else. From now on I'll decide what's best for me. And I chose Luca. I glanced down at my belly and rubbed it softly. I wasn't worried anymore. I knew I could do it. Twice the challenge but I knew now, I'd truly never be alone.