The Secrets She Kept

Chapter 13

I took Luca up on his offer to get ready in his room. The room smelled just like him. I couldn't help but look at the bed and let the memories flow back. I wore a short light blue floral dress and took one last glimpse of myself before heading out to find Leah. I found Leah playing in the hall near her room. My heart stopped at the sight of her. When did my baby grow up? She looked much older than when we got here. When did it happen? Her birthday was nearly two weeks away. I was about to have a five year old running around. "Hey baby, whatcha up to?" I kissed her head. "Just playing." She skipped happily. "Come on, we better head downstairs to eat." I took her hand in mine. "There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere. Come on, he's here." Carla motioned for us to follow her downstairs. Antonio stood by Luca, talking, as Luca gestured him towards the dining room. I was almost to the dining room when Alexa quickly pushed past me causing Leah to lose her balance and fall. "Oops." Alexa made a fake effort to apologize in front of Luca. She wore a skin-tight red dress, and her hair was up in a bun. She had red lipstick and a necklace that trailed down into her cleavage which was showing. I noticed Luca actually checking her out, in front of me! Without thinking or even stopping a moment to help my daughter up, I ran towards her and punched her in the face. She lost her balance and stumbled backward into Luca's arms. "Lana!" Everyone froze to watch. "It was an accident!" Alexa shouted. Everyone looked at me as if I were some jealous teenager again. As if that were the reason I had punched her. "Stay the fuck away from my daughter!" I spat. "Lana! Enough!" The sound of Luca's voice boomed throughout the room. He pierced right through me with his glare. I promised Leah I would get along with Luca. I couldn't argue here, not now, not even to explain myself. Leah would see it as fighting with her daddy. "Watch your tone with me." I glared back, then turned to help my daughter off the floor. Alexa seemed shocked I could get away with talking to Luca like that, but I always have. It's why Luca and I fell in love, to begin with, both of us were hotheads. "Come on baby, I just remembered uncle Robbie is waiting for us at home." I smiled at her. "I want to stay." She pleaded with only her eyes. I wanted to make her come with me, but I don't want to make her feel like I'm keeping her from her father. "Watch her." I told Carla. She nodded in response and took Leah's hand. With that, I quickly left. I didn't leave because Luca yelled at me or because of Alexa. I left because I couldn't control my anger anymore. I have no filter, It's becoming more and more difficult to hold back. But I have a right to be angry right? I was raped and beaten. Right after finding out, I'd be a teen mom. I never had any real parents. My brother got adopted without me. No. That's not cool, I can't feel sorry for myself. I'm angry and that anger might never go away, but maybe I need to learn to let go of the past. Like Kate said. I didn't get very far from the house. I walked out back and down to the shore. I kicked off my shoes and slid my feet into the sand. I listened to the waves crashing against the shore, and inhaled the warm salty air, trying to calm myself. "Why'd you come back?" Antonio's voice called out to me. I quickly turned to see him standing at a safe distance. "Why'd you?" I responded without fear. "I never left." He shrugged. Silence fell between us as I carefully watched his every move. Maybe I should've run back to the house, but I wanted to appear stronger like I wasn't afraid of him. I stood completely still as he inched a little closer and took a seat by me.

"I see she survived."

"We both did." I scoffed.

"We'll see."

"I'm not afraid of you Antonio."

"Because you have Luca? Don't tell me you guys are a thing again."

"You failed Antonio. You tried your best to kill me, but at the end of the day, we both know why you didn't. Why you couldn't, and that's why I'm not afraid. But you should be." As much as I never wanted to admit it, I knew why he didn't just put a bullet in my head, or wait to make sure I died. I've always known the truth. It's just the only thing that made since. He couldn't kill me...he loved me.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?" Antonio was eager to hear why I no longer feared him.

"Because you showed me who you really are. Your small attempt at my life made me stronger, and smarter. I know what to expect and I'm prepared."

"Things could've been different Lana. All you had to do was love me back. You just couldn't let Luca go. You may not see Lana, but the person you should be most afraid of is him. Love is dangerous."

"Then you should keep that in mind next time you try to kill me, or my daughter."

"I don't kill children."

"You tried once."

"She was nothing then, only a cell in your body. I would've done you a favor had I succeeded."

"We both know that wasn't your motivation."

"Then what was, since you think you have it all figured out."

"Luca. You want what he has, you always have. I don't know why, but I'll find out eventually." Antonio looked at me in a way that confirmed what I'd just said. He did want whatever Luca had.

"I don't doubt you will. Unlike Luca, I've never underestimated you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did you?"

"Live my life for a day, see if you don't lash out in frustration. I was a hormonal teen, who was taught from birth to handle problems with violence." It was strange that I actually understood Antonio's position. If only he hadn't tried to kill me and my child, we would've stayed close. For now, he can't be trusted and I can't show any weakness around him. He won't get a second chance at me or my daughter, never again.