Lifesaver | Nick & Charlie

Tough Mornings

Charlie Spring

I groggily rubbed at my eyes upon waking up. The sun was shining through the window, totally awake as was everyone else, I assumed, since Nick wasn't in bed, and there were indistinct voices coming from the kitchen.

The time on my phone read 7:59 a.m., but somehow I was still tired. There were countless notifications taking up the rest of my home-screen, the one from Tori I'd ignored last night at the very bottom now.

It would've been smart to text her back then, but I'd just needed a break.

Tori.Springg
You haven't come home yet. Are you staying at Tao's?
9:37 p.m.

There was a dull ache in my chest when reading Tao's name. Our friendship was totally screwed up, all because I fell asleep. Even the simplest things, I managed to mess up. The lack of texts from him only confirmed that I was unwanted now.

To try to remove the dreadful thoughts, I read the most recent text.

Tori.Springg
Charlie, seriously. Where are you? I texted Tao, but he doesn't know where you are.
7:15 a.m.

Me
I'm staying at a friend's house for the weekend.

8:03 a.m.

Typing bubbles immediately appeared on the screen. Nerves hit me at that. How was I meant to explain that I ran away, but got caught, and now I'm staying at a guy from my form class' grandparent's house?

Tori.Springg
Who? Tao said none of your group knows where you are.
8:04 a.m.

Me
It's a friend out of that circle. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I promise.
8:04 a.m.

I abandoned my phone on the bed then, not wanting to deal with anymore explanation because the real story was utterly outrageous, and I didn't want to hear a lecture about how irresponsible this was.

I grabbed a new change of clothes, but standing in the mirror, shirtless, that I was reminded of how much I hated everything about me. The way my body looked was just wrong. So unnatural and disgusting in my eyes that I almost wanted to start gagging.

Those pesky words from Ben circled through my head, and I found myself believing it more and more. No one will ever like me. I was absolutely useless and unlovable.

I threw my shirt over my head with an irritated huff, and changed into a new pair - that practically looked the same as the other ones. On top of that, I put on an oversized black sweatshirt to hide the frame of my body better.

I sighed disappointed in myself again, finally tearing my eyes away from my biggest enemy that other people referred to as the mirror, and ventured into the kitchen. Nick's grandparents and Nick were cooking breakfast, and the smell sent a wave of nausea through my body.

"Oh, hey, Charlie!" Nick greeted, sending me a sweet smile. I mirrored it, but the illness running through me was distracting me. "We're almost finished. Just sit at the table and I'll bring you the plate."

I swallowed harshly, sitting down at the wooden dining table. Eating was the last thing I wanted to do, but how was I meant to tell them that? What if they thought I was being rude?

A few minutes later, Nick joined me, setting a plate down in front of me and his own next to me where he sat down. Without a second thought, Nick started to eat, but it would never be that easy for me. I stared down at the plate full of eggs, bacon, and toast.