Last Steps

6. A Broken Heart

An ambulance turned up eventually. Luckily I wasn't badly hurt. They just had to pull some glass out of my forehead and clean me up a bit. They said that I don't need the crutches anymore. Thats lucky because they are sort of ruined. I got to go home straight away. James accompanied me home and into my room. I sit on the bed and bring my knees up and rest my chin on them. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to crash the van. I just, passed out" I look out the window. "It's not your fault" he smiles. "As long as your okay. I don't care if you killed the queen, as long as your okay" he cups his hand around my face and I lean into it. "C..." "She is on her way" he interrupts me. He leans down and kisses me. All of a sudden the door bursts open. "Jam... Oh my gosh people! Get a room!" I pull away and see Casey covering her eyes. "Have you finished?" she asks without looking. "Yes Casey. Oh and for the record, we are in a room" I smile. She removes her hand and gives me a cuddle. "Its so good to see you" she says. "Me too" I reply. She pulls back and sits at my desk. "Casey and I have been talking" James smiles. "And?" I gesture for him to continue. "Are you free tomorrow?" Casey asks. "I guess" "We have a surprise for you. But you'll have to wait till tomorrow to get it" James says. I scowl and look at them both "You suck."

-

"Are we here yet?" I ask. James has put a blindfold on me and Casey is pulling my arm. "Almost" I hear Casey sigh. I think that we're walking on a trail. All of a sudden we stop. I feel the blindfold being loosened. "We're here" Casey says and the blind fold is taken away. I look and see Patch, all tacked up. We're in the meadows. "Patch!" I go up to him and stroke his muzzle. He nickers. "What's this for?" I look at James. "Just thought that you need to see Patch one more time" he smiles. I give Patch another stoke then I go and mount him. I trot in circles. "I have to go" Casey frowns. "Mum wants me, sorry." "Bye" I say and then I canter. I look around and see a log. I change direction and jump over it. Time flys. Before I know it we've been there for 2 hours. Patch is getting tired. I slow him down from a gallop to a trot. All of a sudden my legs go numb. I try to move them but I can't. I halt Patch. James comes over. "My legs" I whisper. "Are you okay?" he stokes Patch's muzzle. "I can't feel my legs" I burst out in tears. "I can't feel my legs!" I sob. "Come here" he grabs my waist and lifts me down. I fall straight to the ground. "Jamie!" he drops to my side. I shake my head "I can't feel them." He picks me up and takes me back to the car. He places me in the passenger seat. Then he gets in and drives me to the hospital.

-

"Everything is fine. You just had a numb moment. We've taken some tests and everything seems okay" Brianna smiles. "Can you feel them now?" "Faintly" I nod. "You are free to leave when you are ready" she nods and leaves. "Can we leave now?" I look James in the eye. He tilts his head so you can see his nose ring. You wouldn't notice it if you didn't know that he had one. "You can't walk" he smiles sweetly. "You could carry me" I smile back. "It's lucky that I love you" he stands up and puts his arms underneath me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up. We get a few looks as we leave the hospital. Finally we arrive at the car. James places me in the passenger seat. He gets in and we take off. "It's your birthday tomorrow" I say thoughtfully. "I know. Nothing much to celebrate" James sighs. I lean forward and rest a hand on his. "It's your eighteenth. Your going to be a man! We have to celebrate" I smile. "You won't be an adult. Your birthday's 7 months away" he states. "James" I snap. I feel him tense up. "Sorry" he mumbles. I smile. "Its fine. I would stay at your house tonight but I stayed there last night. I don't think my parents would let me" I laugh. "I would stay but Katie needs me" James bites his lip. We arrive at my house and he helps me to my room. Then he lifts me out of the wheel chair and places me on the bed. "I better go" James kisses me on the cheek. He goes to leave when I pull him back and kiss him. He pulls back. "I guess that I can stay a little longer" he grins and kisses me again. He takes his shirt off after a while. I place my hands on his chest. "I love you" I gasp. "I love you" he smiles and pushes me down onto the bed. I kiss him again and take my shirt off. "I wonder if other people who are sick get to experience this" I say softly. "It doesn't matter" he smiles.

-

I wake up to the sun pouring through the window and feeling like I want to vomit. James left at about 9:30 last night. I sit up and rub my eyes. I pull myself out of the bed. Overnight the feeling in my legs has come back. I go to the kitchen and find dad at the stove. "Maple syrup?" he pours some onto two pancakes. "Thanks" I grab the plate and go to the living room. Mum is seated on the couch, eating a pancake. I sit next to her and start to eat mine. "What's going on?" I ask. "What do you mean?" she gives me a worried look. "Dad hasn't made pancakes since I was 5. What's going on?" I ask again. "Everything's fine" she smiles and takes another bite. I quickly finish my pancakes then head upstairs. I chuck a grey cardigan on and make the bed. I hear something vibrate. I grab my phone off the bedside table. It's James. I answer it. "Hello" I sigh. "It's okay" I hear him say. "James?" I am a bit confused. "I miss her" Katie sobs. "I do too" James replies. Crap, he must've accidentally called me. I go to hang up when Katie says "Do you know why mother loved you more?" I put the phone back to my ear and listen. "Don't say that. She loved you just as much as me" he tries to comfort her. "When mum was teenager, she got drunk. She went out on the street and found a homeless guy. That homeless guy is my father. She regretted having me" Katie sobs. "If she hated you, why did she keep you? Why didn't she give you up?" James asks. "Because she doesn't..didn't believe in adoption. She called me Katie, because that was the name of the pub that she went to on that night. 'Katie's'" she says. "Oh my god" I say and instantly regret it. "Jamie?" James says into the phone. "Hi" I say weakly. "How much have you heard?" he asks. "All of it" I say. "I can't believe this. Why didn't you hang up!?" he yells. "I'm sorry" I plead. "Let me show you how to hang up" he says then hangs up. Shit. What have I just done. I get a text from him almost instantly after. 'Meet me at the park' is all it says. I put some leggings on and ankle boots. I grab the keys to mums BMW and leave. James is there by the time I arrive. "James, I am so sorry" I say as I approach him. "Why would you do that!?" he yells in reply. "I didn't mean too! You called me!" My eyes water. "By accident! Couldn't you tell that that was a private conversation!" he yells. "I'm sorry! What else do you want me to say!?" I ask. He looks me in the eye and I catch a little bit of sympathy in the corner of his eyes. "Enjoy the rest of your life" he says and walks away. "James!" I scream and burst into tears. I collapse to the ground and bring my knees to my chest. I keep crying. I feel a sharp pain in my chest. My heart is breaking.