Last Steps

2. Nasty Words with a side of Threats

Everyone has calmed down now. We cuddled for 5 minutes. Mum's still crying but everyone else just has glassy eyes. The nurse walks in and wipes her eye. I've never seen a nurse cry before. James sits up. "Will she be able to go to school?" he asks. "For the first month or so. It depends on how fast the tumour grows" she smiles. "I've talked to the doctors. They said that you can leave now. Call us if anything happens" she gives my dad a card. "Oh and your clothes are in the drawer over there" she detaches the drip and clip then leaves. James helps me out of the bed. I get my clothes out. I have a pair of blue jeans and a red plaid shirt. There is also a pair of black work boots on the floor. Exactly what I was wearing the other day. I get changed in the bathroom. I come out and James takes my hand. We all leave the hospital and stop out the front. "Can I hang out with Casey and James for a while?" I ask my parents. "Well you are...." mum starts but dad cuts her off. "Sure. Be home by 6. You need to prepare for school tomorrow" I can tell that he doesn't want me to go. He's trying to be a good dad. "Thanks" I give him and mum a hug. As Casey, James and I start to head off my mum yells "Be careful!" I just nod and continue to walk. James got his P's a while ago. He has a white SVU. We all get in and he takes us to Casey's place. Casey lives with her parents in a single story town house. We go in and she takes us straight to her room. She has a single bed against the wall with a bedside table. On the other wall there is a desk with a really old computer. She has a pin board above it with photos of us on it. There are two bean bags in the corner. "Well, you know the drill" Casey chucks a bean bag to me and grabs one herself. James sits down first and I sit in his lap. He wraps his arms around me. Casey sits next to us. "Promise me that you won't treat me any different" I look at them both. James hesitates but he nods "Promise." Casey looks away. "Casey, please" I reach out and grab her hand. She jerks around and looks at me. "We can't act like nothing has happened Jamie! We can't continue living normal lives when we all know that you are dying!" she breaks out in tears. " I don't want to lose you Jamison" I tap James' arms so he lets me go and I go and put my arms around her. She scrunches up the back of my shirt and sobs into my shoulder. "You're not losing me for a while yet" I say. Although I am not to sure myself how much longer I will be here for. After a minute I pull away and push a lock of hair behind her ear. "I love you Casey. Your the best friend that anyone could want. Okay?" I smile. She nods and wipes her eye. "Don't get worked up over me. I am still here. I have two wonderful people that I am gonna fight with all my life for, and it's not my parents" I pull her in and hug her again. "I promise" she says into my shirt. She pulls away and go back to James. "Do you guys want to watch a movie?" Casey sniffs. "Sure" James and I both say and we get up and head to the lounge room. The lounge room has a flat screen tv on a table against the wall with a 4 seated couch a couple of feet away from it. Casey takes a DVD from the table and inserts it into the disc drive. We sit down so that I am in the middle. "What movie?" I ask as I fiddle with my hair. "The Fault in our Stars" she smiles. "Really? Your best just found out that she is terminally ill and..." James interrupts me. "Your not terminally ill" he corrects me. I wave him away "Same thing. And your putting on a teenage love story drama about a girl who has cancer? Nice. I don't need the hints on how to act with cancer!" I don't even remember standing up. Casey looks shattered. She bursts out into tears again and covers her mouth. "Casey" I start towards her but she just shakes her head and runs out of the room. Her bedroom door slams shut after a minute. I bite my lip and run my hands through my hair in frustration "Why am I such an idiot?" "Jamie" James stands and goes to embrace me, but I push him away. "Don't" I start to leave when he walks in front of me. "At least let me drive you home" he puts his hands up as if he was surrendering. "I'll catch a bus" I go to push past him but he stops me. "You didn't bring your purse" he says into my ear. "I'll walk then" I push him away and go out the front door. "Wait!" he runs to the door. "Your house is 3 blocks away! Let me drive you!" he gestures towards his car. I shrug my shoulders as I speak."I'm gonna die anyway" James is taken back by that. And with that I leave.

-

By the time that I arrive home, I am struggling for breath. I didn't think that I would lose it so quickly. I stop outside the front door and catch it again. Just before I open the door I hear voices. Mum and dad must be in the kitchen. The front door opens into the kitchen. I open it and they both look at me. "Your home early" dad states. "Where's James and Casey?" "Casey is probably balling her eyes out in her room, and James is probably comforting her" I smile sarcastically. "So you walked home" dad says with a hint of shock in his voice. "Well I didn't fly" I go to leave when my mum yells. "Jamison! How dare you speak to your father like that" she cuts a carrot in half. "YOLO" I grit my teeth and go to leave again when dad walks in front of me and blocks the way. "I know you are sick, Jamison. I know how you feel" she tries to comfort me but I just lose it. "No! You don't know how I feel! You've never been in a situation where you are dying! You don't know what it's like knowing that you might not be here tomorrow!" the next bit just comes out before I can stop it. "It's a fucking joke!" "Jamison Bell Kaylour!" dad yells and I push past him and go to my room. My room is simple. There is a double bed with London themed covers. A flat screen tv on the wall. A black desk in the corner with a laptop sitting on it. A wardrobe next to the bed and a bedside table with a photo of me and James together. The roof is full of photos. In the middle is lettering that spells 'Jamison Bell Kaylour' that's my full name. I jump onto the bed and cuddle one of my pillows. I don't realise that I'm crying until a tear falls onto the pillow and leaves a mark. After 10 minutes dad knocks on my door. "You have a visitor" he says and I here him walk away. I wipe my eyes and go to the front door. Standing there is Katie. Katie is tall and has blond wavy hair that runs just below her shoulders. She was the most pretty girl in school and she knows it. She is James' half sister, she's older. Not the nicest in the family. She wears a loose black dress with hot pink wedges. Her hair is out and she has a thick black headband in. "Come" I gesture with my head towards my room. She follows me and I shut the door after us. She examines every angle of my room. "Nice. I didn't know that you had style" she grins. "What do you want Katie?" I cross my arms and lean against the wall. At this she stops and stares at me "I heard that you are dying. You know James doesn't deal well with loss." "What your saying is?" I ask. "You need to stay alive. I can't deal with mourning James again. He's so needy when he's like that" she walks up to me. "You either find a cure and stay alive or you stay away from James. If you don't I will tell your parents about that night last year" and with that she tosses her hair and leaves.