Just killing time

Chapter 9

I couldn't get rid of his words , they were stuck in my head 24hours a day "I love you," he said.

Ughhhhhhh it's just so hard to even think about him.

So after he confessed to me I stayed motionless trying to understand what he said. It was as if you were hit by a bus and you were wondering if it was a dream or not. He pulled away from me, his hands still gripping on my arms strongly and his eyes focused on mine. "I-I don't understand," I said confused.
"Oh my god! I love you. I'm telling you I love you," he shakes me gently.
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to believe him but I just couldn't, how can I believe him now? What if it was another lie? To me all what we had was lies because he was just messing up with me.
I turned my face away from him and replied "I don't know, I can't."
"What does that mean?" He asked, his brows furrowed in confusion and wary.
"I can't believe you, you can't break someone and then tell them you love them. It's so wrong." My voice getting higher with every word.
His hands left my arms and he looked at the floor.
"I have to go." I stepped away slowly but then I ran all at once.
I kept running until I found a taxi. I stopped it and got in then went directly home. And as I entered the house my parents were sitting and watching tv. It was very easy for me to act like everything was fine.

2 weeks passed and I can still act as if I was perfectly fine. My heart aches and my mind is blank, I feel so messed up but my smile never leaves me when I'm talking to my family. I couldn't tell Dolan because he was having a hard time getting ready to his basketball matches.

I finally decided to open my phone after the two whole weeks. I found 25 missed calls from different people and not a single call or message from Kim.

I called all the people back to tell them that everything was fine. Then I laid back on my bed and relaxed, relaxing turned to sleeping in a couple of minutes.

It was almost 6 o'clock when I woke up by the sound of my phone. I gripped my phone and answered the call without bothering to see who was calling.
"Diana, it-" the cracked, aching voice said. I looked at the screen to see who is it and it was Kim.
"Yes Kim, what do you want?" I asked.
"I -" He started coughing badly and the there was a very loud crash.
"Kim." I said my voice barely above whisper.
Nobody answered.
"KIM, KIM !!!! ANSWER ME STUPID!" There was a sound of an ambulance.
"Are you Diana?" Somebody different from Kim spoke.
"Yes," I answered.
"Kim now is being taken to the hospital, so please report this to his parents."
"WHY? Why is he going to the hospital? "
"There was a car crash and he is injured badly so please don't waste time and tell his parents."
"Okay I will," I closed with the man and I felt my heart sink in my stomach. My body started shaking and I felt my face turning pale.

Dolan entered to call me for lunch but he was surprised by the way I was looking.
"Diana, what's wrong ? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" He rushed to me and cupped my face with his hands.
"I didn't realize I was crying," I whispered.
"What happened?"
"Kim is at the hospital, he is injured badly." I said as I moved my eyes to meet his.
Dolan stood silently. And I completed "I need to go, he needs me;." I said as I walked to my closet and took whatever clothes my hands landed on. "I am not going to stop you because looks like you need him too," he said as I entered the bathroom to change.

When I got out, I ran to the door and got out of the house. Dolan took me to the hospital with his car.

The moment he parked the car I was out of it. Trying to reach the entrance as fast as I can.

I sprinted to the reception and asked "Kim . Kim O'Brien, where can I find his room? He was brought to hospital after a car accident" I explained.
"Oh he is in room 336" she said.
"Thanks " I replied and then ran to the elevator. Every second felt like a year before I reached his room.

336 I read. I took a breath and entered the room. There was nobody in there except a nurse who was tidying up the bed. "Where is the patient who was here? " I asked breathing heavily.
"I am so sorry darling. He- he is in the hands of God right now." The nurse said sadness in her eyes.

Panic overwhelmed me causing my heart to ache painfully. Tears started falling from my eyes, my lungs barely functioning, my head off balance, and I felt everything inside me collapse.

The nurse walked me to one of the benches and tried to comfort me but I couldn't hear what she was saying, I had iced everything out . My thoughts were all about Kim. What if I came earlier? What if I told him that he was my best friend and hanged out together? What if I was with him before the car accident? He couldn't even see his family, I am such an idiot, a stupid girl. I wanted him to come, I don't want to see my life without him. I wanted him back. I cried harder and harder until I couldn't see anything, my vision turned black and cloudy, and pain spread throughout my body. I felt weak, so weak. And suddenly I couldn't breathe, no oxygen was getting into my lungs, my head felt light. I tried to call for help but I couldn't speak, it was so painful. I felt like I was dying.

I fell on the floor and I felt footsteps running toward me but then I couldn't feel anything. Nothing at all.