╭Lamented╮

Chapter 12

Karin

"Why did you decide to come here?" Ichigo asked me. He started conversation hesitantly, because he knew with a start, there would be an end to our talk. And when that happened, he would have to say goodbye.

Maybe forever.

"Toshiro told me about this place," I answered honestly. "We talked a lot when he came to visit my grave. Well," I laughed shortly, "I talked most of the time."

I could tell Ichigo was conflicted by this information. He was easy to read, because his face revealed everything. It was nice to see that was something that hadn't changed, unlike his attitude and height. His face became much more mature and intimidating too.

I knew it would feel weird, but standing in front of him now made me realize I really was stuck in time. Suddenly, I had felt glad that there was something I recognized about my brother who aged without me. I thought it would be scary, but I was happy.

All those times I felt envious and sad - feeling as if I was becoming an outsider - faded away. This worries seemed insignificant and far away as I stood outside for the first time in years.

Ichigo averted his gaze to the setting sun. His hair swayed in the breeze; his hair got longer.

The colors surrounding the sun and painting the sky was breathtakingly beautiful. Toshiro was right; coming here for my last day on earth was worth it.

"I don't understand what's going on with you and Toshiro, but it sounds like you had fun being with him," he said. "I want to ask you so many things. I want to ask you how long you've been watching us, what were you doing all these years, how you've been and if you missed us the way we missed you."

He let out a breathe. His eyes looked as if tears would fall out. This state he was in affected me too. My lips quivered, but I pursed them as if it would hold everything back.

"I--"

"But I know. I understand, Karin." Ichigo took a step closer and put his hands on my shoulders.

It was sudden, but he pulled me closer into a hug. It's been a while since I was in my brother's protective, warm, embrace. I had always felt safe in it just like the hug Toshiro gave me. Despite being a ghost, I could feel his warmth - from both his words and actions.

"I know you, more than anyone, also felt pain and that seeing us grow old was something difficult to watch. But on top of everything, I know you love us and you should know we love you too. You had your reasons."

"Yuzu and dad would understand," he said.

I couldn't hold back anymore. I let out the breathe I was trying to hold and started shudder breathing as I sobbed.

Ichigo slowly pulled me away. Through my blurry vision, I could make out the sad smile on his face.

I read his lips, barely able to hear anything other than my own ugly crying.

"Now go," he said. "To him."

I sniffed, only able to nod like a child would. And just like a child, I wiped my tears away. Before I ran, I took one last look at Ichigo. He really looked like a full-grown adult with that look on his face.

I smiled.

"You grew up into a great person," I mumbled. "I'm relieved."

And just like that, I began running until I reached the one I shared so many memories with. He was the person who made me feel as if I was still living my life. He was my solace and the person who made me realize it wasn't so bad to be lamented Karin Kurosaki.

I'm so grateful. When you approached me, and I waited for you everyday, I couldn't help but think...

I took a leap.

I saw Toshiro's widened eyes, but instinctively, he opened his arms to catch me. He almost lost balance, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be close to him, so I squeezed him tightly. My eyes were shut.

"I'm glad I met you!" I said softly.

"Karin," he said quickly.

I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed or just couldn't breathe properly. He was trying to get me off of him, so I assumed he was overwhelmed.

I didn't let go easily and squeezed tighter.

"I want you to do it," I said stubbornly. "I want you to send me off, Toshiro!"

His grip on my arms loosened, making me release him to see how he would react. His cheeks were red and his lips were parted.

He stared at me with his wide turquoise eyes. "What?"

"My brother is fine with it," I clarified before he could ask.

Toshiro peeked behind me. Maybe he thought that would confirm what I said. And it must have, because his gaze returned to me again. "Really? You are fine with that?"

I nodded.

Toshiro looked confused, but one thing I recognized the most was the same look I had just minutes ago. He looked as if he would cry, which was a rare sight to me.

"But, why?" He asked, genuinely bewildered.

This is so like you, Toshiro.

"Because you're Captain Hitsuguya. I wouldn't want it any other way," I answered. My smile disappeared and I lowered my head. "Truthfully, from the very beginning when you told me you could send me off, I decided that I wanted you to do it for me."

I looked up at him, staring at me the same way he did after I hugged him. My cheeks were tinted pink too, I assumed.

By looking at the different ways his face contorted, I could see he was hesitant and contemplating. Finally, he made up his mind.

"Okay," he said. "I will do it."

His hands slowly reached for his sword, but his hand - inches away from the hilt of the sword - froze for a brief moment. This was only for a second; he then unsheathed his sword.

The back of the sword's hilt faced my forehead - just one move and it would touch my forehead. He was urging me to say something - anything.

So I did.

"Do you want to say anything?" I asked. Of course, there was probably so many things he wanted to say, but what he decided on was unexpected.

He glanced away and pursed his lips.

"I," he then stared straight into my eyes, "love you."

It was a wonderfully pleasant surprise. I was unsure if that was a platonic or romantic confession, but it made me happy. I grinned, reaching for his arm that was holding onto his sword.

"Tell me that again, when you see me in the Soul Society."

Without warning, I moved his arm forward and it was done. The last thing I saw before fading into oblivion, was Toshiro's tear filled eyes.

╭┈

│ The end.

│ I will publish an epilogue too, but this is the ending of my short story Lamented! Thank you for reading!

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