╭Lamented╮

Chapter 4

Karin

They visited today. A few days have passed after Toshiro went back to that place called the 'Soul Society'. My sister, Yuzu, grew so much. To think the girl I saw growing up was my younger twin sister. It was bitter-sweet seeing everyone grow up, but I remained the same age. The same lost kid.

Ichigo became a grouch. Dad looked like more of an old goat than usual. I smiled, hints of sadness in it. They couldn't return that smile. They didn't know I was there, because I hid myself away.

I'm still a coward.

Was it even right for Ichigo to be able to easily see me - his dead sister who hasn't passed on yet? It felt wrong, but to talk to them was just as tempting. Maybe being a coward was an excuse too, but I couldn't let them see me this way.

Someone that could be swallowed up in the abyss and disappear; that was the life of a ghost. That is what signifies my shattered promise to never cry or leave them.

They left all the same. I was left alone for the rest of the month. I endured another month of loneliness and realized I wasn't the lonely cry-baby any longer. I had some meaning of staying other than regrets.

So, I endured some more.

All my efforts came crashing down. It was just for a second - though still sinful of me - a tear slipped down. It's been five months and he never returned. Toshiro. My eyes trailed off to the autumnal, withered, flowers next to my gravestone. The flowers died.

Although... I lifted my hand up to rid the tears leaking out. ... they are going to grow again - having new life!

"I can wait a little bit longer. I can endure a little bit longer," I mumbled encouraging words. I waited patiently for the day he would come back, so we could talk to each other again. There were so many things we don't know about each other. Alright, I'll tell him all about it when I see him again.

With that thought, I sat there through hot days and cold - not effecting my numb soul. I sat there, knees being hugged and face buried into it.

I felt a pain in my chest, but pushed it back.

Why's he taking so long?

I pushed away the thoughts and questions. I knew that Toshiro had a busy job, he told me himself. He told me he was a captain and how he was always busy with paper-work. And how he had a lazy lieutenant, but she was reliable in her own ways. He told me how she was someone special to him despite annoying him. Toshiro's explained how a captain had to lead so many people in a squad and how pressurizing it was sometimes. He was a kid compared to all of them, after all. That's what I could make out by what he said.

Some were obvious, but he couldn't say it out loud.

Some were said.

Some were things he casually said, but I knew it bothered him.

I sighed. I want to see him again. It's lonely here.

Fine. I nodded. I will walk outside the cemetery. I can't take this anymore.

It was scary, but I can't stay stuck to my grave all the time. Lamenting on things that would multiply every second at every thought. I couldn't. My legs moved in a slow pace, not used to walking too much. I would always just sit there and wait - formerly, crying. It felt weird after such a long time.

Soon, I took my first steps outside and explored the outside. Joy.

Not really.

Everything was the same: normal, as I remember. It was loud, unlike the silent land. The other ghosts were just as rowdy or would stare at me. They mumbled about me: the gravestone girl. A few would ask if I was new, but I would answer simply and leave. It wasn't as exciting as one would think.

I spoke too soon, of course. The whole situation was confusing. I heard a crash and followed by that crash, I saw the one person I was looking for. He was thrown into a wall; bleeding and injured.

Toshiro.