Candid

Five

Landed first on the cold hard ground. Followed by something that is so hard to avoid.

Moon above is an excellent source of information, emotion, commotion. Heck, it can be the reason of your choice to make a decision.

How can light above the sky at night do that?

I decided to take good walk tonight. Wherein everything here in my village surrounded by the silence. Rain stopped pouring days ago.

The night is cold. I might be freeze to death if I didn't wear my hoodie.

I'm just walking without having any idea where to go.

Breeze of wind became colder. I almost scream when the sky roared loudly, followed by the lightning.

Before I can stop on my track and go back, I noticed that the playground is now beside me. And so I decided to just go there and stay on the swing.

The place is so quiet. All I can hear is my breathing. Sounds of swing when I move with it. Trees dancing with the wind. Sometimes, the roars of the sky above.

I looked at the sky. There are no stars now. Moon is hiding and cannot be found. It's like it's saying something to me. I spaced out for a little bit.

For the first time, before this day ends, I was a little bit more comfortable with the idea of being a little more comfortable. I don't know if that even makes sense.

I sighed and relax myself.

Drizzling.

It's drizzling.

I look upward. I closed my eyes.

It's raining.

Now, it's raining.

Why is it raining tonight?

I'm drenched.

I can stay like this forever. I open my eyes slowly. I'm definitely comfortable by this.

I closed my eyes again and feel the rain touch my body.

"I know that you wanted to take your life away but I'm telling you, you're not going to die easily because of the rain."

Why he always comes out from nowhere?!

I open my eyes quickly.

He is there. Standing centimeters away from me while holding an umbrella. Hand on his pocket. His eyes found me.

I thought that I'm just hallucinating. But when he touched my face, I know that he's real.

"Whenever I see you, I don't know why but you're always lost in your own little world. Why do you want to leave this place badly?"

His hand is tracing my face slowly. Until he's finger touch my lips. His eyes never leave mine.

My own world.

What is my own world?

I just know that my life is like a crumpled paper. Nothing is there. Simply crumpled up.

Why do I badly want to leave this place?

I also ask myself that often.

I don't know the answer either.

"They say that when you die, your spirit is being separated by your body. You can feel nothing. I don't want to leave this place. I just want to feel nothing. And that's what I want. Do you think I will find peace by that?"

He just stared at me. I averted my gaze.

That's when the rain stopped. Stars peeking over the clouds.

And the moon is shining brightly.

"You know what they say too? Seeing a white light is well-known for those who die and come back. The white light isn't something to be afraid of. They say that it is a sense of peace or even happiness."

I pointed out the moon above.

"Look at the moon. It's shining brightly right now. Like a white light. It even gives peace and happiness in the darkness. What do you think?"

"I think you should go home. Take a bath and rest."

He pulled me up. His smell is really a blessing to my nostrils.

I shiver when the wind blows. I almost forgot that I'm drenched. But the coldness I'm feeling left when he put his hoodie over me.

Hoodie over a hoodie. Cute.

"Let's go, I'm taking you home."

I remember the first time we met. I can see the white light over the sun that time. The tranquility I'm grasping. Until he pulled me into him. Like tonight, I can clearly see the white light over the moon. The happiness it brings while it is surrounded by the darkness.

Before I met him, a part of me is already gone. And now, it's slowly coming back...

Only to be lost again.