Amasai Oneshots

Stitching whats severed

Tw: mentions of blood, Stitching, and other  things in that category in a metaphorical sense.

Their hand felt warm in his. Only the air conditioner could audibly be heard. The room was dark, just as both their minds were darkened by the unlucky odds of life itsself. And the unlucky situations they happen to live in similar yet different in its own ways. Both With a runaway parent and one who drank.

Only the air conditioner could audibly be heard, till a sob that was obviously being choked back rang throughout the darkness of the semi-cold room. He could feel Rantaros grip on his hand tighten just so very slightly. And their green sleepy eyes opening to look at his gray ones. He felt bad about it. Making them worry like this. But then again he wondered. 'Are they crying too?' Since Rantaro was a silent cryer, it would take alot just to get a peep out of them. And that made him worry. Made him ponder what could of made the person he adores this way? Or, more like which specific thing did this to them. The two were still young, knowing that the both of them are beyond repair hurts. Aches his heart more than it already aches.

He couldn't hold it in anymore. He couldn't. He really couldn't! His throat burned, brought up a hand to scratch his eyes because there was a burning sensation there too. Because being numb doesnt ease the pain, and between the both of them Rantaro knew that best. "Hey.. Shu? Whats wrong?" They're tired yet concerned voice rang out in the darkness. He stoped squeezing his eyes shut in attempt to keep his tears back. Until he felt the warm hand of his lover leave his cold hand. And lay against his wet cheek.

Rantaro was aware of his lover's condition. Well, its not an actual condition, atleast. Shuichi Saihara, he was always bleeding from his poor aching back. If you were standing directly behind him, youd see the warm callus blood running down his cold aching spine. His spinal fluid dripping along with the dark old blood thats been there for awhile, and the fresh blood from the same wound and different ones opening up anew. But Shuichi cant see his back just like the majority of us cant. He can only feel it. However, though he can feel it, because he cant truely see it. He doesn't believe its there. The wounds dont appear in his eyes. And by the time the pains gotten so unbearable and the blood is dripping on the floor behind it. He just mops up the blood. And stitches up his own wounds. So once more he cant see it. He can only feel it. And this Cycle repeats, over, and over, and over. 'Theres other people with worser injuries i should be fine' is what hed say with a kind smile. Almost genuinely believing what he goes through is.. Normal.

But for awhile the two have been taking turns stitching eachother up. "I-Im okay." He muttered. Tears streaming down his face once more. the two locked eyes for a short moment. Until Shuichi quickly darted his eyes and shut them once more. "Your going to give yourself a headache doing that.." Rantaro said gently after sighing.

"I-Im sorry, i was trying not to-" he started, feeling guilty for awakening them from their slumber, they looked so peaceful.. until he was being pulled closer into Rantaros warm embrace, the bed creaking as they did so. A hug. A warm one. Touch didn't really have the normal comforting effect it should have on a person, since neither of them really had someone to hug them and tell them "it would be okay." But this should suffice. It was close enough. He felt safe in their arms. From the harm of the world around him he could never escape or ease even if he tried to, or the harm from his own self that he causes due to his 'condition'.

He wrapped his arms around his partner's torso, tears leaving his own tired eyes. Rantaro rubbing his warm hand against his back that was dripping with blood. But Shuichi knew Rantaros back also has a gaping wound. Just.. not in the same exact way. In its own special way.

If you cut them open, there was no more blood to run out from their blood vessel. No more white blood cells to repair the wound. It would just stay open. And yeah, eventually it would close up. But it never fully healed. Because theyve been bleeding for so long from one same wound not knowing how to sew,  their body no longer had the effort to close it up. So they just walk the earth, with a huge gash there, revealing their spine.

However Shuichi does his best to stitch what he can back up. Just as Rantaro does for him.. when your stitching up a wound, it hurts yes.. but atleast your less likely to receive an infection right?

As Rantaros grip tightened ever so slightly. He could feel their breathing become sort of unsteady. He opened his eyes once more though puffy from crying. Their mouth in a flat line, though eyes slightly red and tears streaming down their warm cheek. And despite this, Shuichi felt glad. Because he knew. Rantaro rarely cried. He could recall a few times where theyve said "my eyes hurt.. i should be crying right about now, but i cant for some reason.." just like that.

Crying is normal. Its stranger to not. It helps release endorphins in your brain to counteract what's causing your pain. Though Shuichi wishes he could stitch his own eyelids shut. Considering his brain always feels the need to help release endorphins.

Just as your blood spills in attempt to repair whats been severed in two.

Nonbinary rantaro is my favorite rantaro i love playing around with their pronouns when im writing sometimes. But hes always nonbinary in my writing dont worry. Wether it be he/him or they/them or they/he
-not proof read, meaning there may be minor mistakes in spelling and what not