𝚋𝚎𝚘𝚖𝚔𝚊𝚒 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

insecurities (yeonkai) 🕯🎀

Hueningkai couldn't stand to look at himself right now.

One look at a mirror and he felt like breaking down in a puddle of tears. An apple formed in his mouth as he lifted his shirt a bit to see his stomach. His lips quivered as he remembered how this morning he was 5 lbs less than he is now. He let go of his shirt and covered his mouth to not let his cries be heard. He wanted to let it all out so badly.

Yeonjun then came in the room. He was in such a good mood, going to tell Kai about his promotion, but his smile faded as he saw his boyfriend trying to hold in sobs, hiccuping and having a hard time breathing. Yeonjun immediately ran towards Kai, getting in front of him and cupping his face.

"Kai? Kai, baby are you alright?" Something about the question 'are you alright' makes everyone break down, and this was exactly the case for Hueningkai. As soon as he heard this, he didn't hide it anymore and started sobbing, letting out whales as he hugged his boyfriend tightly.

Yeonjun, still worried and his heart beating at a fast rate from how the boy was reacting, he started crying as well, very quickly. "Kai, Kai you're alright! Y-You're okay it's f-fine." It was too overwhelming for the both of them. Yeonjun was so scared for Kai that he couldn't handle it and cried for him. "Stop! S-stop crying Kai-ah!" Yeonjun cried out, terrified. Kai really is giving him a heart attack.

Hueningkai cried in Yeonjun's arms for a good half an hour. His screams were so horrid and hurt, Yeonjun wanted nothing more than to help the boy this instant. Thankfully, Kai started calming down soon after the 30 minutes.

Yeonjun let him snuggle his face into his neck while the older rested his head on Hueningkai's shoulder. He then sighed and decided to speak up first.

"Why were you crying?" he asked, full of concern. You can clearly hear how he was still recovering from what happened. Hueningkai stayed silent for a few seconds. "I.. I-I didn't like how I looked." Kai stuttered, sentence being choppy and broken up. As Yeonjun processed the words he said, he furrowed his brows, saddened the younger thought this way.

"W-why? Why why?" Yeonjun asked, turning Kai over so he'd face the mirror in front of them. Hueningkai tried resisting but Yeonjun made him look. "You're so beautiful baby, look at how pretty you are." he said, wanting to cry again. Kai's eyes stuck to the side, staring at nothing. He could only shake his head softly and let tears fall slowly.

Yeonjun then turned him around to wipe the light crystals on his boyfriend's face and kissed his cheek, liking the feeling of the younger's squishy cheeks.

"Come here." The older guided him to the bed, having him sit down with him. Yeonjun positioned himself to sit and lean his back to the frame of the bed, motioning Kai on his lap. Huening listened and sat comfortably on his lap, wrapping his legs around Yeonjun's waist and resting his head on the latter's shoulder. Yeonjun started to gently run his fingers through Hueningkai's hair, hugging him as well.

"W-what don't you like about yourself?" Yeonjun asked in the most comforting and stable voice he can manage. He tried staying composed for the sake of his boyfriend's mental state right now.

He didn't get an immediate response, but soon he heard Kai say, "M-my tummy.." Yeonjun hummed, trying to say he understood. "What else?" Hueningkai started getting emotional again. He could hear sniffles and felt tears run on his shoulder coming from the younger, so Yeonjun hugged him tighter.

"My hair.." His voice sounded so hurt. Yeonjun wished he could make this pain Kai felt go away. He softly rubbed Hueningkai's back, telling him to go on. "My thighs.. m-my f-f-face... my smile.. m-my nose-" He didn't get to finish before he pulled back from Yeonjun and covered his mouth harshly, trying not to sob.

Yeonjun pitied him and gently hugged him again. "You're alright Huening, we all get like that sometimes." he said, trying to comfort him. "Even I do." Kai didn't say anything, only focused on trying not to bawl his eyes out right now, but Yeonjun made an effort to get him to talk.

"What is it that's making you uncomfortable? Hm?" Hueningkai closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing as he gulped, swallowing down the pain. "I-it's too ti- ight." he managed to say, and although it was somewhat incoherent, Yeonjun was able to hear it. "The clothing?" Kai nodded.

"I- It..." Yeonjun looked into his eyes, slightly shaking his head up and down for him to go on. "I-it fits t-too well. I-it shows my b-body. A-and I c-couldn't do my make-up. I-I kept messing up." Yeonjun slowly kissed his forehead and rubbed his cheek, softly smiling. "Would you me to help you with you make-up?" Hueningkai hesitantly nodded before the older went one, "And would like to wear something else?"

Kai paused and looked down, ashamed since he knows the answer to it. "But you b-bought this for me." he said, his tone and position saying sorry by itself. "It's alright darling, if you're not comfortable in it then why would I force you to wear it? You decide what you want to wear today, okay? Besides, it's our date. This day is about you and me, no one is going to judge you." Yeonjun stated, making sure the younger knew that.

Hueningkai hesitates, but soon nods and agrees with his boyfriend. Yeonjun smiles and taps the younger to get him to sit up, which he does. "Alright, first pick something that you will be comfortable with, then we can do your make-up, okay?" "Okay.."

For the rest of the day, Yeonjun made sure Kai was comfortable and loved very much. He couldn't stop placing kisses and pecking Kai's lips every time he got the chance. He wanted to make sure Hueningkai knew he was loved by him and that it was okay to be sad.

Hueningkai is very thankful for his boyfriend and Yeonjun is too.