Tangled After Ever After

Reflection

Varian's body ceased tension as the wind slowed, following the drifting of a sudden voice. His eyes turned up, revealing the cylinder opening he had fallen from, the molding formation rounded by reflected black rocks. Varian pulled himself by his waist, though as his arm came to draw, he plummeted back. A chuckle grasped the cavern's edges that held the same undertones of familiarity that kept him bound.
"Come out."
He rolled himself on his back, searching for the source. Instead, Varian beheld uneven markings of symbols tracing the cresses, one catching his eye as it stretched and widened across the dark exterior. The marking was that of the brotherhood to show their loyalty to the moonstone.
How much pain was caused because of that symbol? He blamed the marking for his father's demise as well as his mother's.
His eyes closed for an instant, trapping him in another memory. This one, however, needed to be more familiar.
The alchemist's eyes closed for an instant, trapping him in another memory. This one, however, needed to be more familiar.
The view caught by dim blue. The face he had longed to see all his life stood before him. Her eyebrows knitted down, troubled, though her eyes seemed to smile. And he couldn't understand why. That last spark of the smile dropped, turning to ashen gray, skin going pale, followed by silver running down from her hair roots, replacing her once golden orange. His eyes froze as her arms grew limp and abandoned. His body plummeted with hers, the young child so close to that of the dead.
His yearning fingers stretched from the blanket that held him.
Wanting.
Needing.
But still waiting for a response.
He forced his body to move as his eyes shot with terror and grief. He had been helpless and couldn't help but feel that way even now.
No one can save themselves from their own guilt.
The air grew cold as his sobs turned to belching screams. He silently hoped that Cass would understand and save him. Though as he thought of her, he began to recall her hatred.
Varian's memories of her pushing him away surfaced her yells and screams of utter dismay and all the moments she was suffering that she couldn't trust him enough to tell. It ripped him in shreds, causing him to try to press them back in dismay. He gripped his chest, bringing his knees up as he lay.
Hopelessness set in his heart, allowing the fog above him to collide with the atmosphere.
"She's not coming," Varian whispered as more tears erupted.
As the room flooded with the white wisps, the voices - that seemed to only be present in mind- grew vulnerable and vivid. Varian drifted upward, fearful of his globes closing. An image shook his eyes to a blurred reflection on one of the black rocks. It drew closer.
The image cleared as it rested at his feet, revealing a young boy. A scared, shocked expression done in tears. His surroundings were not the reflected surfaces around Varian but of Corona!
The environment was ablaze with wooden skeletons of structures crumbled to coals, in addition to the remains of the airship the Saporains had brought to attack Corona. No soul except for one was left from the destruction (from what he had assumed to be from the Quirin substance). He kneeled down to face the young boy. Found himself... guilt-stricken and full of silent anger that seemed to burst.
Varian's glove hand reached for the image as if to comfort, though as the leather of his glove touched his, it folded, forming him into the stone.

I faced my reflected self, lying flat as tears escalated. I didn't recall this moment, but it had a haunting familiarity with me. My other self's words suddenly shook upward, finding my eyes, "I tried! But I was never good enough. I thought I could finally be forgiven for what I've done, but no...they lied! No one will ever understand what I have done. I'll always be the villain!"
His translucent reflection fingers tightly gripped his goggles, plunging it hard into the scenery. They struck the surroundings, causing cracks of black to spread. I found myself falling to my knees as 'his' fist hit the ground, resulting in a more extensive spread of webbed shards that laid the world like a tapestry.
I examined 'myself' torn. Distraught. My gloves found my other self's wrist, gripping them tightly to receive his attention anew. But as I went to offer comfort, I couldn't. It was like facing my conscience that was constantly screaming at me for revenge and yearning. The need to be forgiven to be able to move on. This version of himself was an accurate representation of how he was feeling.
The eyes of himself were too much to bear, causing me to break from his shoulders.
I held my breath, not wanting to produce any tears. The translucent eyes of my other that had appeared on the ground were pulled upward from himself to mine, keeping wide eyes. As if seeing that they both were suffering the same as the other.
My other form grabbed me around my shoulders, bringing me in close. No words were expressed except for a feeling that seemed to spread up through my heart and flood. His other form came to rest on my shoulder as I softly whispered, "I'm so sorry. It is my fault that we have to suffer like this. If I had just been honest and had not searched for revenge, maybe we wouldn't have been so...hurt." The feeling that filled my heart dropped at the remark. The other Varian's head cocked to mine as he expressed guilt. I raised his form's head from my shoulder.
The glaze in his eyes marked the tears of many nights. He blamed himself still for the things he had done. He had stuffed my feelings down as hard as he could into a nightmare that had begun to consume him. He found himself having compassion for himself instead of the anger and heartache he would have more willingly given.
"We are hurt because of what you've done, yes. And sadly, we have to survive with it. But you shouldn't be blamed for everything I've done. And I'm sorry I've held it inside you for so long...I can't forgive you, but I will love you." The cracks that had appeared only a moment ago slowly seemed to compress. "It doesn't matter if people see us as the villain. I have changed and have proven who I really am. We are not this...you are not this."
I paused, "I regret that I have allowed you to endure my outburst for far too long."
My reflection's tears dripped more, wanting to hear his words of release, "Thank you."
As I forgave myself, the heavy feeling in my stomach seemed to fade, if only briefly, so that he wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

Varian's tear-streaked smile turned to shock as a different emotion twisted his features, and the scenery around him changed. It became familiar and impossible to ignore. Varian returned to his original form, but it had transformed into a sadistic creature that resembled a husk willow tree. The beast was deep black like tar, with sharp talons blended into its once-gloved hands. Its eyes scaled back into a red gleam as it scrutinized Varian closely. This figure sent Varian's heart racing until it spoke, causing his heart to stop. "You made it...I thought you would be trapped in your own subconsciousness."

***

Demanitus stared at her limp form. Her knees bent to a stance with her mess of hair, breathing as the fog drifted all about them. Her sword lay halfway raised at him as he expressed her name.
"I understand your anger. You're confused."
He kneeled down beside her, grabbing onto her shoulder kindly. "Your thoughts and emotions are mixed into that of another. You feel twisted. You can't understand which one...is you." He lifted her chin to his eyes as they traced with tears.
"And I have neglected your condition from the beginning." He brought his arms around her to embrace, but her eyes blazed angrily once more. She tried to push his touch off of her but to no avail.
Demanitus watched as a twirl of fury swelled deep. Anger pierced his heart, seeing the fate that had befallen her. Breathing deeply, he motioned for her to do the same. Her anger burned, but as she followed his smooth breathing, her fury dropped.
"Now that you have a clear head, I'll help you find your alchemist." She gave him a hopeful expression with a hint of confusion. She stood, replacing her sword back into its sheath. Her hand lingered as her eyes turned up at the illumination, "I apologize, I haven't been myself... but I won't stop trying to help Corona. He's the only one I know who has the knowledge to save them." His hand returned once more to her shoulder.
Her hands stretched over her chest, her head slightly bent. "So you would do anything for a Kingdom that has marked you as a traitor? You'll end up tearing yourself apart."
"I'm already being torn apart," she said, gripping her glove as she stood up. "I might as well give it up for something rather than nothing."
He nodded sadly but was happy to see the young soldier before him. "I understand completely, but make sure you know what you're fighting for. The road ahead is one I cannot travel with you, and your emotions will be tested."
She simply nodded and motioned for him to lead the way. "Show me the way," she said.
He chuckled and moved her hand towards a small opening directed down at the entrance's hem. "I think you mean this way," he said.