Sᴛᴏᴘ Bᴇɪɴɢ A Dᴀᴅ: Aᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀs Wʀᴏɴɢ Nᴜᴍʙᴇʀ

||3|| The Audacity of a Li'l Shit

Victoria has texted Archer 50 times, and he hasn't responded.

Stick
Archer
Archer
Archer you there?
Bro where are you?
Answer!!
I need your help!
I need HEYLP
HEYLP ME HOOMAN
Are you human?
I've never thought about that
Have I been texting an alien this whole time?
That'd be cool
But would that mean you don't live on Earth?
So I would never be able to meet you?
That sucks.

He wouldn't answer. Was he okay?

. . .

Laura Barton carries a basket of laundry through the living room, when she hears thousands of dings! from the couch. Or rather, her husband's phone.
Who could be texting him? And why were they texting him so much?
She sets down the basket and picks up Clint's phone, opening his texts and finding it was someone under the name; Stick

Stick
Mr. Archer sir where are you and why are you leaving my small child self to wonder where you are?

Laura smiles at the text.

Archer[Laura]
Hi dear. This is Archer's wife. He's currently busy at work, so he won't be able to text till he gets home.

Stick
Why didn't he take his phone with him?
Did he forget?
He's ridiculous so of course he forgot his phone.

Archer[Laura]
He should be home soon, so don't you worry okay?

Stick
Yeah. It was nice to meet you Mrs. Archer's wife.

Laura thinks for a moment. Clint told this child that his name is Archer, and the kid's name says Stick. She smiles as she remembers her husband talking about trying to text Natasha but she had given him the wrong number.
This must've been the wrong number.

Archer[Laura]
You can call me Prairie. I can give you my number if you like, dear.

Stick
MORE FRIENDS

Archer[Laura]
Yup, more friends :)

Stick
:)

Laura sets the phone down with a smile, picking her laundry back up and heading outside to hang them up to dry.

. . .

Victoria sets her backpack on her bed, pulling out her homework, making sure to finish it before tomorrow.

. . .

The next day, Victoria has to once again deal with the annoying creature known as Flash.

"What did he ever do to you? Besides not be a complete dirtbag."

"He existed," Flash sneers, shoving Peter Parker against the lockers. Why he always picked on that one kid, Victoria had no clue.
But as the boy raises a fist to hit Parker, his hand is grabbed.
"What- listen Victor, mind your own damn business. I'm in the middle of a meeting- WOAH"

Victoria pulls him back, throwing him to the floor.
"Leave him alone, muppet."

Flash stands up with a chuckle, dusting himself off.
He turns to walk away, but then quickly spins to face Vic and sends a sharp left hook to her jaw, sending her to the floor.

She spits a few drops of blood from her mouth and scoffs.
"Quite the punch you got there, picket head, but I thought gentlemen weren't supposed to hit girls."

"I'm about as much of a gentlemen, as you are a girl."

"What? No?"

"Sorry, sometimes I think you're just some really ugly guy. Turns out you're an ugly girl. Who knew."

"Everyone. Idiot."

Victoria winces as Flash kicks her in the side, then he sits on her abdomen, his fist raised.
"I always knew I'd be the top."

"OH MY GOD EW-"

Her disgusted comment is cut off as Flash hits her in the nose, sending a stream of blood down her cheek.
He climbs off her with a grin, but it disappears at Victoria's next words.

"That's all you got, Flash? Man, those were some weak ass hits."

The boy huffs and grabs the collar of Vic's shirt, lifting her up and shoving her against the lockers, then wraps his hands around her throat.
"Can't make those stupid comments if break your asophoglease."

"First of all, it's esophagus. Second of all, do you mean my trachea-?"

Peter Parker stands behind the two, watching the scene and feeling like he can't do anything. But he had to stop Flash.
"Dude, stop! You're gonna kill her!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do, stupid?"

. . .

Victoria's P.O.V

It felt like my head was gonna pop.
I felt dizzy and lightheaded, and I had been scratching at his hands trying to stop him, but my arms felt weak.
I could barely hear Parker's voice when he tried to stop Flash.

. . .

Narrator's P.O.V

Peter, not knowing what else to do, runs down the hall, looking for a teacher.

He peers into a classroom, sighing in relief as he finally finds one.
"Ms. Poe, Flash is trying to kill Victoria!!"

The woman follows after him quickly, shouting when she sees Flash, the small girl's eyes fluttering closed, her skin a white purple.
"Flash Thompson!! What are you doing!!"

Flash, being scared of teachers, let's go of the girl and shuffles back.
"N-nothing!!"

Ms. Poe rushes over and picks up Victoria, asking Peter to help her carry the girl to the nurse's office while they wait for paramedics.