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NOW PLAYING: conversations in a diner— dvsn
↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ
"You close your eyes. I'm in the dark."
JUNE 2022
ROME LOOKED AROUND THE DINER as he waited for the waitress to come back with their orders. He noticed a man at a booth in the corner sitting by himself, staring into his cup of coffee while looking dejected. A woman by the door looking irritated as she typed on her phone. A smiling waitress walking around and checking on her customers. A silent India staring out of the diner's window.
The low chatter and sound of raindrops lightly tapping the window created a calm atmosphere in the diner yet Rome felt everything but calm. He felt nervous, confused even. India was the one that did most of the talking, yet she left Rome to rack his mind in search of something that wouldn't upset her more. That's if she was upset.
Everything felt weird. The couple went from seeing and speaking to each other every day to going almost a week without doing either of those things. In Rome's defense, he tried reaching out to India on Monday but she basically ignored him until Saturday... which is today.
Sitting in front of India now, Rome wished he could read her mind so it could ease the worries in his. Was everything okay or was she doubting not only him but their relationship as well? Her detached manner failed to make things clear for him and judging from the silence on the other side of the table, India wasn't going to make it easy for him to figure out what was wrong. It felt like he was in the dark when it came to his relationship when he should have been one of the main people that knew everything.
Rome didn't have a problem with silence. It allowed him to think. He found it peaceful actually, yet the loudest silence he had ever heard came from his girlfriend that could go without contacting or seeing him for almost a week. That's the kind of silence he disliked. The kind of silence that could make someone question every action they made or every time they potentially said something wrong. The kind of silence that made his stomach tie into knots and his hands feel sweaty from the anxious thoughts of what could leave India's mind when she finally decided to open her mouth.
The waitress returned gently placing two cheeseburgers, one plain the other having lettuce and tomato, and two orders of fries on the table. She refilled their glasses of sweet tea before smiling at the couple and saying, "Enjoy your meal!" Something Rome could not do because of the anxiousness he felt. If he ate anything right now he would just spit it right back out. He had lost his appetite in a matter of minutes.
India removed the top part of the bun from her burger and lightly sprinkled pepper on it, covering the tomato and lettuce in a light layer of the flavorful specs. She placed the bread back on top and took a small bite.
Minutes felt like hours. While Rome hadn't touched his food at all, India had only taken a few small bites from hers. It was safe to say that Rome not eating made her feel some kind of way. In her mind, she felt like he could sense something was wrong and he wouldn't be wrong. She didn't want to sound cliche and use the 'it's not you, it's me' line, but it really wasn't him. Everything was on her and the fact that she had no idea what she wanted.
"Um, can I get a to-go box?" India asked the waitress when she got close to the table. Her first words of the night and she decided to ask the waitress for a to-go box. When the waitress walked away, India saw it as her chance to finally talk to Rome. After a week of being to herself, this was the best decision she could come up with. She had to keep it short because she knew if she said more than the basics, she would start to question herself... again.
"Maybe we should take a break. I'm not breaking up with you, but I'm saying that I need some time to think about things. I didn't want to keep ignoring your messages so I brought you here to tell you face to face..." India trailed off, trying to read Rome's face and body language for any signs of how he felt but his poker face remained strong and he looked at her through expressionless eyes.
Truth be told, Rome expected her to say that. His overthinking brought him to all the possible scenarios of how the situation could go. While it wasn't the worst scenario on the list, it most definitely didn't fall into the 'best' category. That didn't make the pain hurt any less though. He seemed nonchalant on the outside, but on the inside, he felt like she had aimed a dagger at his heart and threw it with full force. He didn't blame her though. He wanted her to do what was best for her even if that meant he had to go without her for a while. The thing is, Rome had witnessed multiple relationships have a 'break' just for that break to be indefinite. That was the last thing he wanted for his relationship.
When the waitress returned, India silently slid her food into the box and made sure she had it secured before standing up. She kissed Rome on the cheek and with that she was gone, leaving Rome to feel like the same dejected guy he had noticed in the diner earlier. Not wanting to waste the food, Rome walked over and gave it to the guy who gave him a warm smile. He walked out of the diner into the warm, summer night feeling bad that he started to despise the day he decided to pursue India romantically.
ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴇ.
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