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NOW PLAYING: rollin— ryan trey
↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ
"Just hurt me, that's fine. Just hurt me, that's fine."
JUNE 2022
The faint sound of R&B music filled the room as Rome fiddled with the joysticks of his PS4 controller trying to complete a mission in one of his favorite video games: Grand Theft Auto Online. His two-year-old nephew sat in the hallway in front of his room playing with toy cars. Rome occasionally shifted his gaze from the silent television to the toddler. His nephew was going through the terrible twos and loved to get into things which Rome did not want him doing on his time.
The loud ringtone and repeated flashing from Rome's phone caught the attention of not only its owner, but the young child as well. Rome kept his phone on do not disturb ever since the diner incident so he knew it had to be important for someone to call him more than once in order to bypass the focus mechanism. He hoped it was India but he knew that was as far as it was going to get. Hoping. Rome hadn't heard from her since that night at the diner almost two weeks ago and he wasn't going to reach out either. She said she needed a break from him and even though he missed her, he refused to make it seem like his entire world revolved around her and he couldn't function without her so he refrained from calling.
Rome flipped his phone over and looked down at the screen, rolling his eyes as he read the contact name.
Jordan Annoying Ass
Rome quickly grabbed his AirPods and popped them into his ears before answering the phone. There was no telling what would come out of Jordan's mouth and with his nephew now standing right in front of him, Rome didn't want the little boy repeating anything he heard. Just as Rome placed a hand on the toddler's head to prevent him from running away, Jordan said something that caused his brows to furrow.
"Yo, Rome, what you do to India?"
He took a trip in his mind, revisiting the last week and a half before realizing that the answer to the question needed no thought at all.
"I didn't do anything to India." He responded simply, refraining from saying what else he wanted to say. Ask her what she did to me.
"I'm asking 'cause she on her story making post talking about some DTN4L. I already asked her about it but she got my DM on delivered and I'm tryna hear both sides of the story, you feel me?" Jordan asked with genuine concern laced throughout his tone.
It didn't take Rome long to sum up what the acronym meant. Don't trust niggas for life but what did he do to make her feel like she couldn't trust him? That was the question he had trouble answering.
"She all in Miami on a little girls trip drinking bottomless mimosas and shit. You already know they not gone be friends when they come ba— hold up." Rome could hear Jordan's slight mumbling before he heard a sound that sounded like the same one people made when they sucked their teeth. "She talking 'bout some she posted that because her friend going through shit with her man." Jordan summed up India's response to Rome who felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Bitches been doing me dirty since you've known me. Matter of fact one did me dirty a couple of weeks ago and I don't see you posting DTB4L. Make the shit she did make sense, Rome."
While Rome wanted to make it make sense, he couldn't. Most definitely not when he knew if the shoe was on the other foot India would pitch a fit. He knew what she liked and what she disliked, but if she didn't want him to do things like that why would she even think about doing it to him? Their logic seemed to be in two different areas and he refused to partake in hers. Rome had zoned out, but when he finally paid attention he heard Jordan going on an angry rant.
"...talking 'bout some 'you need to mind your business.' You mind yours first! What that girl and her man got going on don't got anything to do with you! Rome, I'm telling you now, me and yo' girl 'bout to get into it."
Rome exited the call screen and downloaded the Instagram app. He wasn't big on social media, but he decided that he needed to see the post for himself. Once the app downloaded, he typed in his username and password and loaded into the app to see India's story was the first one in the row at the top. He tapped through it seeing that she was indeed in Miami, she was indeed drinking bottomless mimosas, and there was indeed a post on a black background saying DTN4L with a rolling laughing emoji. He had hoped Jordan was playing around too much, but seeing the post with his own eyes confirmed the opposite. Rome hated that feeling he got in his chest when something hurt his feelings. The same feeling he felt now.
"Rome, you gone be mad if I post DTB4L?" Jordan asked after he finally calmed down from his rant.
"Yes."
"Rome, you gone continue to let that girl play in your face? Yes." Jordan answered his own question. He sighed and the sound of shuffling could be heard from his end. "I understand how you feel about her but leave that girl alone. I told you to be cautious of her ass and this is exactly why. I'm about to hang up though. You do whatever the fuck you got to do." Before Rome could respond, three beeps sounded through his AirPods letting him know that Jordan had hung up the phone.
Jordan did tell him to be cautious of India. Seeing as they were all from the same city, Jordan had heard a few things but Rome wasn't going to go off of hearsay. He wanted to figure out India on his own and as the days passed, he figured her out more and more to the point that he would sometimes question if this was a forever thing like he thought. He loved India but he wasn't going to allow her to think he needed her in his life when she continued to push his feelings to the side. He knew he didn't need her but he felt like he did.
Rome knew he was before India, but who would he be after her? Would he go back to being the quiet wallflower that stood in the corner alone after being dragged out? Or would he go back to being a homebody and being unknown by almost everyone besides his family and Jordan? India continued to hurt him yet Rome continued to love and make excuses for her. It was almost like he was fine with being hurt but as Stephen Chbosky wrote,
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴇ.
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I know I haven't updated this book in a little while. Honestly, due to me losing interest I stopped working on this book but now that the interest is back I decided to go ahead and put out this chapter. Since there's only a few chapters left I'm going to try, keyword: try, to make the time between updates shorter. I'm going to start writing the next chapter right after this one so hopefully it should be out soon. Feel free to leave your feedback on this chapter and as always,
