What if I changed?

{ Day 10 }

If I the genie would grant me a wish. I swear to god I just don't want my mother to realize what I've signed up for. "Ye-Yes mom.." I stuttered. "Come home...we need to talk." I stood up and walked out of Avery's house, shivers tingling down my spine. 

I enter my house, and my mom has been waiting for me, she was sitting on the couch, while my sister was nowhere to be found. "Hi, mom...I'm home.." She paused for a moment and turned her head around. "Em...' she stood in front of me and stroked my hair like a child. "I- need you to refund your admission to those classes you pay for..okay?' I looked at her. "You knew?' She continued stroking my hair as I wait for her answer. "Yes...I know you wanted to be an artist but- it can't provide food on the table...or a roof above your head it's just- I can't bear seeing my daughter as an artist!' she clasped my hand tight as I pushed her away. "You don't understand mom...this is my dream and who knows? Maybe I'll be one of the most successful artists" I tried to tell her, I just wish she would see my passion for it. But instead, she just ignore it and continued being unsupportive, and I hated her for it. 

"You're turning 17 soon, rather than wasting your time on doing art! Why don't you make yourself useful and get a job!" I can see flames in her eyes, but she has tears in the corner of her eyes. "Mom...what happened?" I patted my hand and put my hands on her shoulders. "Mom..." I hugged her tightly as she sobbed. "He's gone...he's gone for good...he-" she can't hold back her tears. "Woah...are- are you talking about dad?' 

I didn't say this from the start of the story but- my dad is a drug dealer, he's been on the run for 3 years now. When my mom found out she filed for divorce and vowed to take care the both of us. But he didn't want to divorce empty-handed, so he took my mom's car, her jewelry, and me...I remember the day when dad drove by and asked me if I want to come to live with him, he always smelled like alcohol but who cares? I hate him, I really do. But there is one thing I absolutely love about was he was supportive of my dream, I got really depressed when my mom found out about my love of art and she wasn't supportive about it. But he was there for me. When the day he really left, I can't say anything, no I-love-you or hugs and tears, nothing...

My mom worked 2 jobs at once to keep up with the bills and school fees, and the bus fare to go to work. And everything. I still love her all my heart but sometimes I just wish dad was here.

When she broke down the news, I ran outside, despite the heavy rain. He's dead? How? Why? Sometimes I just wish he wasn't a drug dealer, because I do love him, and he really meant a lot to me. I collapsed to the ground as I can't stop crying. I dragged myself to Jessica's house as I once again cried on her shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry about your dad-' "I'm not going to Florida...' "What? Why?' Jessica frowned. "Look, even if I go there I can't go to the art classes anyway...my mom is asking for a refund. " I hate saying this..because this is what I've looked forward to. Jessica looked at me and smiled. "Ya know Emily, my parents said I was weird, but I didn't let that stop me...so I don't think you should stop achieving it as well. Besides, you say your dad was supportive right? He would be so happy if he knew you were to become an artist. " I show her a weak smile. "I want to hear it from my own dad...at least just see him once more before he really- " I can't seem to find the right words as I cried again.