s e v e n: requiem
I walked into science class
Pulling down my skirt as far as it would let me
Apparently, it wasn't far enough
I could hear the not-so-subtle "coughs"
"Slut"-"Whore"-"Bitch"
On the outside, my face was impassive
Cold, hard demeanour
On the inside?
I was burning.
It was worse than anything else,
because nobody could see you slowly dying
except yourself.
I sat down at the very back, at the only table with nobody else in it.
Maybe I liked it, because nobody could see me crying softly
Maybe I hated it, because I was left alone with my thoughts
And even I didn't want myself
My life, it seemed, was a contradiction.
And half-past twelve o' clock, he strolled into the room
and it sounds so cliché
but I sucked in my breath
and my heartbeat ran wild
because
to any other person, he would just be
a beautiful, stunning boy.
But to me?
He was the promise of something new.
because unlike me, he didn't seem broken.
I liked it.
I liked it a little too much, I realized.
But maybe he'd write me a piece to remember me by at my funeral
maybe just a little requiem -
not for the person who I was now,
but for the person who I was before.
Or maybe, he was my requiem.
To remind me of who I used to be:
A normal girl, a happy girl
A girl who called fall in love again.
I decided in that moment,
that I wanted his heart.
And I hoped so badly,
that by some miracle,
he could want mine, too.
