Loving Him (Him Series Book 1)

Twenty-Two

Three days later he confronted me.

When I went to get the door I figured Katie had misplaced her key again but Kyle was standing on my doorstep wearing dark slacks, a blue dress shirt and a tie. He looked like a dashing young CEO. Seeing him made my heartache.

I considered forgetting about Ava and begging Kyle's forgiveness, but the nagging thought of her being right haunted me. They'd loved each other since they were five years old.

What she'd said made sense. If Kyle loved me, then we'd still end up together. I guess I was afraid to test our new relationship and afraid to find out that he loved her more. He grew up with her, and made love to her. You can't compete with that.

"Did you lose your phone?" he asked in a deceptively casual tone. I knew Kyle well enough to know that he was angry.

Opening the door wider, I stepped aside. "Come in."

His ocean blue eyes fastened on mine, and I felt my resolve crumble. I looked away quickly. Kyle stepped inside, turning to me the moment I closed the door, but he didn't say anything just waited for me to explain.

I swallowed hard. "You look very handsome."

His brows lifted. "Let's skip the small talk, please. It's been a long day."

"I think we need a break." Saying the words felt wrong, and I wanted to take them back.

He tensed but didn't seem surprised.

"If we see other people, we'd know for sure what we have is real." My voice shook and my heart pounded. Trembling, I looked up at him, fully expecting his anger but he was strangely silent.

"You want to see other people."

"No!"

"Lucy," he said gently. "I spoke with Ava. She's going through a rough time. I wish she hadn't confronted you, but she did. She knows it was wrong. It's done. This can all be forgotten if you will let that happen."

He will always love her more.

"Avoiding a problem won't make it go away."

He sucked in a breath and gripped the back of his neck. "I know I don't have a job now, but I went to the bank this afternoon to get approved for a business loan. I'm going to start doing carpentry work until I finish my degree. It's not much, but I'll be able to make a living." His expectant gaze met mine as if he believed what he was saying made a difference.

He thought his lack of employment was a problem. Another crack pierced my heart. "You'll be successful whatever you do. It's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked, puzzled. "Because I've been thinking about it for three days, and I can't figure out what I did to deserve you ghosting me."

The words cut deep. "I love you, but you need time to work out your feelings for Ava."

Kyle stared at me in disbelief. "I don't have feelings for Ava to work out."

He's lying!

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do know, Lucy." He couldn't completely hide his frustration. "I already know what I want. You. If you're not sure, I'll wait for you while you figure things out."

His words hurt, and I silently begged him to understand. "It's not me that needs to figure things out."

"You sure about that?" He closed the distance between us and reached for me but stopped. His gaze glittered with distrust. "Have you asked God about this?"