Brutal love

Chapter 9

Love is a wonderful feeling, a feeling that brings warmth and happiness. Love is also the reason humans choose to live for. To find love, to make love, to choose love; out of all the crazy activity out there in the world people, humans choose love. Love is sacrifice, it is diaphanous and lastly it is the euphoric feeling humans experience once in a lifetime with all their humanity.

People may not want to participate to feel love, it might just be a sheer emotion for them but once they fall for the tricks love has displayed, they're bond to fall deep. And I'm waiting for the day I'll in love with someone even when so many emotions hold on to me. Someone who can show me light and comfort.

But everytime I try not to give up for that euphoric feeling, I fail. Then, now and always, the emotions that I keep buried no longer stay quiet. And I know one day, very soon, I'm going to explode.

Walking into my chem class on Monday without my textbook was not the best idea I could come up early in the morning. Mrs Peter loves sending kids out of the class and we all know that I'm not very lucky enough to have her absent or be generous to let me go just for once. Well at least she didn't send me off with a bunch of hurtful mumbles.

I don't even know if I got most of my homework copies from home because my mind isn't working today, its in a frenzy. I don't even check for Zane and the others, that's how much my mind isn't intact. I checked and I have no temperature but my mind is just not focusing on anything. My mind seems lost after all that has happened during the weekend and prior to that.

My thoughts drift back to the evening when Zane had come and created so much of drama, making me go back to my past trauma's that he engraved to my soul. So instead of standing outside the class for punishment I walk to the parking lot and get in my car.

I sit in my sit and hold my hands up to my hair and pull it back. I'm thinking of what I'm probably doing now because what I'm doing doesn't really make sense. I think about what I could possibly do to run away from school today. Weird right? Because I've never done this, I'll only ever miss school when I get sick even if school wasn't my special place.

I think I sat and thought for at least about 10 minutes, my mind drifting elsewhere. And then I come up with the most brilliant 5 star plan on ditching school, which is:
1. Go home and sleep
2. Go to a bookstore and have therapy there
3. Call Garret and hang out with him
4. Just stay at school

Going home and sleeping would be relaxing but that's what I did on the weekend. I can go to a bookstore and read there but I'm still in my school uniform, I can still go but maybe not. Calling Garret would need a lot of energy not only to talk but also to hangout, though I think that kind of energy is what I need today. And the last one is just there to fill space for the forth plan.

I'm going to go for plan 3 because I just want some air and good vibes and smiles. And Garret is fun. So I call him

"Hello my darling, did you finally decide to miss me? " there he goes being his goofy self again.

"I don't know if I missed you but are you free?"

"I have school but I can ditch it for you, you have a holiday?"

"We live in the same city dipshit, why would I have a holiday?"

"Principle dies, deputy directed could die or an evil teacher, odds are on our side but anything is possible"

"Oh God, no it's nothing like that but I ditched school today"

"You did? Definitely odd but okay you're finally starting to have some hormonal behaviour so what time do you wanna meet at?"