Bucky Barnes imagines

She gets the flowers (B.Barnes) sad

It's a short one and it is quite sad.
I wrote it with the lyrics of the song 'She gets the flowers' by Beth McCarthy. I recommend to play it while reading.
Hope you like it <3

You were back from a mission and you were clearly exhausted. You got out of the Quinjet with Sam, Steve and Wanda. You were all so tired that you couldn't even talk as you entered the elevator. You all reached your floor and muttered a good night. You grabbed a bottle of water in the kitchen and made your way to yours and Bucky's room. You really needed to sleep and you were really excited to see your boyfriend after two weeks of a mission in another country.
When you opened the door, you heard some muffled noises. You frowned and continued your way to see your boyfriend. A glass noise could be heard as you let go of your water bottle at the sight of Bucky's naked body, tangled with another person. Your eyes were wide and you lost for a moment the ability to speak. The noise woke the two people sleeping and they both looked at you as if you were the intruder. You couldn't take your eyes off the man that once made you the happiest in the world. Your heart shattered in a million pieces as you watched the love of your life in the arms of another girl. Bucky didn't know what to say and so did you. After a moment you spoke.

"Waouw James.... Great one. She's really pretty."

"Y/N-"

"Don't Bother. I got the message."

"Please just let me explain!" He tried to put his clothes back on before you could get out of the room.

"No James. No! I'm not doing this!" You stormed out of the room crying so much that you couldn't see where you were going.

You couldn't believe what you just saw. It was a nightmare. Your Bucky couldn't hurt you like that, not after years of dating, not after everything you went through. It was impossible.

"Wait please!" Bucky was chasing you while calling your name.

"What, James?!"

"I meant to talk to you about this but I just couldn't find the right time and I didn't want you to find about it this way... but I met someone."

"No shit!" You yelled.

"Please! I met her a couple months ago at a café."

"Months?? For how long have you cheated on me with her?"

"That's not the point-"

"How many Fucking months James?" Your eyes started to water again and tears threatened to spill at any time.

"Two."

"Oh my god." You gasped and put your hand on your mouth. You were sobbing uncontrollably. "Tell me what she has that I don't? Why you were so fast to let go of us, of all our memories? For fuck's sake Buck, we have been dating for 2 fucking years. Does that mean nothing to you?"

"I know but I just couldn't help it, she is-"

"- all you wanted, right? When it was my heart, you didn't want it. I gave you everything. All my friends are gonna say it's you, it's not me, but I wish I could believe them. You cheated on me Bucky, you had a million occasion to break up with me but you didn't! You knew that if I found out I would be completely shattered! You knew that! You did that on purpose!"

"No I didn't! And I am so sorry that you had to find out like this, but you know, with her, everything is easier." He paused for a moment. "I love you Y/N, but everything is so damn hard with you."

A tear rolled down your cheek as you understood the words he was saying. He was right, you had a lot of nightmares and sometimes you were really depressed, but you tried your best to get better. You've always tried so hard to be the best girlfriend, friend and daughter. Bucky was basically saying that you failed to be his lover, so maybe you failed the other two? What if everyone just pretended? What if it was your fault? You couldn't utter a word.

"Say something."

"It's-" You pointed at him. "It's unfair."

"I am in love with her Y/N." That sentence broke you. You literally felt your heart broke in your chest. You raised you gaze to meet his eyes. He looked sadly at you, realizing how bad the situation was for you.

"She gets the flowers, right? The posts are made about her. She gets a love that is perfect, a love I deserved, a love that I gave. I got excuses and you got to use them against me." Your eyes were watery and you felt a huge weight on your chest. It was hard to breathe, to talk or even think. "Tell me why I wasn't enough. After all that I gave up for you, was it too much to ask for just a part of what I gave you back? Why was I so hard to love?" You voice broke at the last sentence because of how hard it was. Bucky was truly the love of your life and the mere thought of him with someone else was unbearable. You breathe deeply to try to clear your mind a bit. "Apparently, you found your person and there's nothing worse than knowing she's out there and happy. The way I wanted to be with you."

"She makes me happy Y/N."

"Is she so different than me Bucky? Was she there when you needed her the most? Because I certainly was. But come on, tell me James. How's she so different? Do her eyes look better when they shine? Do her lips taste sweeter than mine? Does she look prettier when she cries? Was I just too hard to handle? Too emotionally unstable?". You sighed as your cries became less loud. "In fact, you don't want me, and you never will, right? I can't change your mind." Your eyes were still full of love when you looked at him. "I loved you so much Bucky. I thought that you were going to be my last and only... but I guess I was wrong. Goodbye Bucky."

You walked pass him, took your motorbike helmet, a bag full of clothes and left a note which said 'Don't try to find me, I need time. Bye everyone.'