[The Bugs are Out]

Ch. 1 [Outed]

Content in this chapter may be triggering to some readers: Strong language (F-slur), Bulling.

Faggot. I don't think I've ever heard that word so many times in my life. It never bothered me before, as it wasn't directed towards me. But now, when anyone starts to pronounce the ff sound, i immediately start sweating, as if they're about to insult me. So, i eventually stopped sharing my questions during class or talking to anyone at my school. Yeah, it's lonely, but it lessens the amount of anxiety inside me. Isn't that what maters?

     - Jason Carter, Entry No. 18. 10/14/22

I shut my Journal and look at my watch. 12:23pm. Almost time for lunch to end and hell to start. My hands start to shake as i put the unlabeled composition notebook in my shoulder bag. Just as I'm about to zip is though, someone reaches for it.

I try to pull in back, but it's too late. He grabs it.

"Not now, Damion." I plead to the stocky blond looming over me. "Give me a break today."

He sneers at me and chuckles darkly. "On one condition." he pauses so i can take a moment to consider his offer. After a few seconds, i nod feebly. "Okay." He continues. "You have to lick my shoes and beg for mercy."

The wind blows in such a was that it makes him look even more intimidating. Despite the crippling fear growing inside me, i refuse his request. "N-no. i-i-i won't."

He gives me an impressed look. "No?" Damion says in 'Hurt' tone. But, his whole attitude changes in the blink of an eye. The next second, I feel like I'm looking at the devil himself, being burnt by his fiery rage. I cower away from his terrifying gaze.

But because I'm not looking, i can't doge his hand when he grabs for my hair. He pulls my head up sharply forcing me too look at him. I start to tremble as he kneels down and gets in my face. "You listen here, fag." He says in a whispering voice. "You don't get to refuse my generous offer. You will do as i say, like a bitch would, Jason."

"Please, no." i whimper weakly. "Just give me my bag and I'll leave your site." Hot tears build up in the corners of my eyes as i plead to him.

His own eyes light up at my words, as if I gave him another splendid idea. "As you wish." he says, standing up and letting go of my hair. But in the spit second i let my guard down, he swings my bag swiftly at my head.

Its heavy contents hit me square in the face, causing me to crumble to the courtyard sidewalk. I immediately know my nose is bleeding with the amount of pain erupting from the center of my face. I might even have a black eye.

Despite this, i don't get up, in fear of what he would've done next. i hear him set my bag next to my head. "Have a nice day!" Damion says cheerfully as his footsteps fade away.

Once I'm on hundred percent sure he's gone, i sit up shakily. As i suspected, blood trickles down my face and on the concrete. I wince at the crimson color pooling Infront of me. A color i will forever hate.

Good thing i have a small package of tissues packed in my pocket just for this situation. I hold back tears once I've put a few Kleenexes to my bleeding nostrils. Damnit. i curse myself. If i had been more careful that day, NONE of this would've happened...

///

FLASHBACK: FOUR WEEKS AGO

October 14, 2022, 3:54pm. Heights High Music Room

"So." One of my classmate says, turning towards me. "It's your turn. Truth or Dare."

"Hmm." i mumble, weighing the consequences of both options of the game. Thinking that the choice Truth would have less repercussions, i end up telling him, "I pick truth."

He sighs, as if he's disappointed in my answer. "Fine. Be boring like that. Then, Answer truthfully, do you have a crush on anyone from the girls school across the street?"

"Actually." i grip the neck of my guitar. "I don't really swing that way, If you understand what i mean."

He stops in his tracks to processing what I've said. "So..." He pauses, trying to find the right choice of words so he wouldn't offend me. "That means you're a homosexual? You don't find any attraction to girls?" i nod casually, not feeling any need to be secretive. This simple gesture prompts him to scoot back ever so slightly.

"I'm not homophobic or anything..." He tells me.

"But." i start to finish his sentence, "You're not gay. Don't worry. I've heard this phrase Many times before." I sigh awkwardly and add something extra under my breath. "But it's still a homophobic statement."

"Anyway!" he says with too much enthusiasm. "My mom is coming to pick me up early today! See you at practice tomorrow!"

I did see him the next day. But it was because he was apologizing to me. For 'Accidentally' outing me to the whole school

///

"Hey. Have you heard? Jason's gay."

"Eww. He's in my gym class!"

"I bet he was staring."

"Stop! You're making me feel sick!"

"Imagine being like that."

Those were the conversations i heard nonstop for weeks, until i started shutting everything out. 

-CHAPTER ONE END-

920 words

Song that goes with the chapter:
Song: 80
Artist: Green Day