17 Last Times

⤹8❁ Beliefs

Hello again. I know it's been 3 weeks since the last update but I've been struggling a lot with everything really. Nothing's wrong but nothing's great either and my head's just been really strange, not allowing me to focus on anything really. I also had a week taken out of my life as my wisdom tooth decided to come out and my mouth got infected and I couldn't even think. Today is another day when I can barely concentrate but I wanted to post this chapter, which isn't even that long as I made some amends. I actually wrote it a day after I had published the latest chapter and never had enough strength to publish it, so finally, here it is. I hope it's okay. There's lots to come! Love you all.

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𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵

"Nicole, please," I beg, staring out at the backyard as I hold my phone to my ear.

The water in the pool is still, embellished by a white glimmer of solar lights installed all around it. Nevertheless, the water looks cold, uninviting, which causes me to note in my head that I should turn on the heat pump. It might encourage Davina to leave her room and go for a swim.

Nicole's voice resounds on the line. "William, you know that I can't. It's against the rules."

"I'm well aware, but I also need to know." My plea comes out unbelievably desperate. "I need to know if I am the reason why she's turned so cold."

"William-"

"Please, I'm begging you. I don't know what to do anymore. I care about her . . ."

She lets out a sigh. "I'm really sorry but I can't." The line stays deadly silent for a moment, after which, she decides to continue. "All I can say is that you've got to be patient and gentle with her. She needs some time to heal, just like you did in the past."

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. "That's not really helpful."

"That's all I can do for you, William. You have to understand that this time this isn't about you. It's about Davina."

I pinch my eyes closed, frustrated with being so helpless, and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm not an idiot. I know that."

"I never said you were one."

I count to ten in my head, regaining some sort of composure. "Can I ask you one more question?"

"Always." Her tone is warm, quite uncanny with the way it sounds so alike to my mother's.

"How long do you reckon she'll stay this way?"

Nicole allows herself a minute before responding, "She's lost both of her parents. She'll most likely mature in no time, and it'll be an unrecognizable change. As much as I'd love to, I can't promise you that she'll go back to the way she was before, and if I'm being brutally honest, I wouldn't even have your hopes up that she will." She takes a short break, collecting more words, which she then lets out softly. "The day I first met you, you were also someone else. A completely different boy. It's been years now, William, since Beverly died, and some time since your father passed, and I can tell you that you've changed humongously. You've opened up to people, you've learnt forgiveness, without which, my family would've fallen apart that evening, and something I am proud of the most is that no matter how much you screw up, and you know that you can do that quite efficiently, you always try to find a way to fix things."

"Why are you telling me this? I thought this wasn't about me."

"Because you have changed, William, and sometimes a change can be really good for us, even if we're not ready for it, and even if it means we don't get to be around certain people anymore."

I swallow hard, deeply striked by her words. "What are you implying? That I should let her go?"

"All I'm trying to say is that you care for Davina, and because you do, you obviously want what's best for her, am I right?"

"Of course," I respond in a heartbeat.

"Now, can I ask you one more question?"

My pulse kicks up. I know that I won't be happy with whatever she's got to say. "Go ahead," I prompt regardless.

"Do you think that you are what's best for her, or do you believe it because you desperately want it to be the truth?"

A long moment elapses and it's filled with loaded silence. Nicole's voice emerges anew. "Hello? Are you still there?"

I clench my teeth and then . . . hang up.

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