17 Last Times

⤹28❁ Shock

Welcome back! I can't believe we're already into November! How are you? Enjoy the chapter!

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He closes the door, calm, yet his eyes get clouded with fear.

"Hey, Davina. It's nice to see you too," he says sarcastically.

"Very nice job at trying to conceal the fact you're shitting your pants now because I found out it was you all along!" I whisper shout, acknowledging that Will must be having a shower as I can hear the water running behind their bathroom door.

"What are you talking about?" He shakes his head slightly, acting confused.

"Kai, I know that it was you writing those notes to me. You brought the bunny to the tombstone. Nathan told me," I add the snippet about Nathan in order to cut the crap he's trying to sell me about him not knowing what is going on.

Instead of replying to my statement, he grabs a jacket off the door. Then he takes another one and passes it to me.

"Here. Put it on. It's cold outside."

I frown at the clothing but refuse to question his actions. I shoulder my way into the jacket, thick and black, and way too big for me.

"Jacket on," I say, flint. "Now what?"

He does his zip all the way up to his chin, then opens the door. "Now we're going to grab a drink. I guess I owe you an explanation."

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"What would you like?" Kai asks as we stand in a queue at Costa.

My eyes travel in every direction but towards the menu board. I can't shake off the feeling of deja vu. How long has it been since I stood here with Nathan, right before my life went downhill? A year and a half? Maybe a bit longer?

I think back to that day. Everything was so easy and doable. My only worry pertained to maintaining good grades and keeping my relationship happy. It's crazy how much it all has changed since then. It's astonishing how much just over a year and a half can alter.

"Davina?" Kai peers at me, expecting me to order.

"Um . . . hot chocolate will be fine. Thanks," I murmur, sinking deeper into his massive jacket.

Once the drinks are ready, Kai grabs the tray and brings it to our table. He sits one of the mugs in front of me and the deja vu strikes again.

"Are you broke?" Nathan's question relives in my head.

So much has changed.

I have changed.

With that thought in my mind I regain my confidence and decide to cut to the chase.

"Why did you bring the bunny and write those notes? And why didn't you want me to know it was you?" I don't beat around the bush.

Kai threads his fingers through the mass of his blonde hair, nervously pulling at the ends. "Because I know how difficult it is to talk to people if none of them can relate."

A frown settles across my face. "Okay. . ? So you wrote those notes because you wanted me to believe you were someone who could relate?" I grab a spoon and stuff my face with some whipped cream.

Kai fidgets in his chair. "I can relate, Davina. Both of my parents are dead."

There is a sharp clank as I drop the spoon onto a plate. The whipped cream barely squeezes through my throat as I choke on it. Aghast, I reach for a napkin and bring it to my lips. I'm starting at him silently with a stupefied expression smeared all over my face.

Kai continues. "I just wasn't sure whether you'd like to speak to me after I'd had a hand in helping Will with that sex phone nonsense, so I made myself anonymous."

"Oh." Is all I can muster. His way of thinking makes a lot of sense.

"Yeah. . ." He sighs. "But I know how much I needed someone to relate when I lost my parents, so when I found out about what happened to yours. . . I didn't want you to feel as alone as I did." He looks down at his mug, ponderous. "Nathan knew about the bunny and the notes because him and I are close friends, and he agreed that it might help if you have someone to talk to. And yes, I told him about the past and the app."

"What did he say?" I ask quietly.

"He was a bit pissed off but said what's done is done. I think he moved on from the past and doesn't want to look back."

I let out a sigh. "I don't think he moved on at all. He was very much upset today and brought it up during our argument."

Kai chews on his bottom lip for a moment, then looks up at me and says, "Davina. . . I really don't want you to think that I'm siding with anyone but. . . Nathan is letting you be friends with someone for whom you've left him. And he tried and still is trying to be kind to Will just because he cares about you and your feelings. But he did give you another chance and waited for you to be ready to start over. He has moved on, trust me, and if he brought anything up during the argument, I'm pretty positive it was solely to make a valid point, not to judge you for your past mistakes."

I let myself cogitate briefly about what he's just said, and can't help but come to the conclusion that he's correct. The only reason why Nathan said anything about Will is because he wanted to make me aware of the fact that we both have kept a secret from each other — him because he tried to help — me because I was selfish.

Oh God. I'm such an idiot. I need to apologize to him.

"Thank you, Kai." I smile at him, appreciative. "For saying this, and for telling me about your parents. It really would help to speak to someone who can understand."

He smiles back at me. "Well," he checks the time on his watch, "you've got just about two hours till they close, so go ahead. Ask me anything you want or say anything you want to share."

I stick the spoon back in my mug and give the drink a stir. Then I look back up at him. "If your parents are dead, who do you live with?"

"My grandparents." A little smile pulls at his lips.

I prop my chin on my hand. "What are they like?"

His smile transforms into a grin, and I know that I'm about to hear a really heartwarming story about two elderly people who have changed a child's life with a simple yet so generous gift of adoption.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for today, Kai. I wish we'd had this talk sooner." I smile at him as we enter the accommodation building.

"My pleasure. And me too." He reciprocates the smile.

We quickly say our goodbyes and our ways separate. I'm left with two choices: I can go back to my dorm or I can go and check if Nathan's still awake so I can apologize to him.

I choose the latter.

By the time I reach his door my heart pounds like crazy. I hate conflict but what I hate even more are the flushes of heat and the embarrassment when I know I was wrong and have to admit it.

My fist meets the surface of the door, cold and hard, as I knock twice.

Nothing. Just silence.

I let out a breath of disappointment and turn around to head towards my room, and that's when the door opens. I look behind my shoulder. The feeling of shock and panic fills me momentarily. I cover my mouth with my hand.

Oh. My. God.

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