Iron Devils MC

2

I'm close now to the clubhouse and I can't help the nervousness and anxiety that plague my mind.

The fear of so many unknowns is crushing me: being around so many strangers , men I don't know and the added stress of men I did know who have already hurt me. This new place I have never been to and the unknown of my reaction and theirs, to the years spent apart . It's a lot and I'm surprised I'm still driving straight as my attention keeps drifting off ,into that dark space.

That dark space that reminded me to change into a long sleeve shirt in a gas station bathroom on the way over here, to hide the scars , the marks. No one can see what I've been through , I don't need them to suddenly develop hero complexes and look at me like some damsel , that makes men crazy like they should keep you. Away from eveything , it makes men stupid. They might even look at me in disgust , the unpredictability of their reaction is scary. making me think about  how I'll be received in this new club.

What will they see , will they see what I want them too, a girl simply here under her fathers request , carefree young. Normal. Or will they see me , scared , hurt and lost. The girl that flinches at everything , who covers her arms even in the summer , who's scared to be around others , the one who's got something to hide.

I'm not brave and I'm not special , I'll draw no attention and it'll be okay when I move on from here. Just me.

I pull up to a huge grey fence. There's nothing beyond it that I can see as huge trees cover any view , this is deliberate I think , to stop prying eyes. It was like this back when the clubhouse was in Texas but here instead of pulling up and the gates opening automatically , they stay shut.

Should I get out? I think it's better to try and open the gate , maybe it's manual. And just as I'm reaching for the keys to turn off the ignition, I see two men , huge men , come from a small opening in the fence.

Instantly I feel my hands tighten around the steering wheel , a voice whispers reminding me to breathe , 1-10 , then 10-20 and then they're at my car.

They're both decked in their leathers  , both have one hand in their vests,holding on to their guns I assume, the promise of violence sure in their stance, their eyes harsh as they come closer and examine me, their presence intimidating , making me feel smaller than I already do.

"Name?" one asks gruffly as he approaches closer to my window , so close he's practically breathing on it, I wind it down,an inch, losing sight of the other man. Up close I see the hard lines on his face , a trait shared by all MC men, a testament to their hard lifestyle. I realise I've spent a while looking at his face and have yet to answer him. He's about to ask something else.

"Sunny" I rushed out.

He takes a step back , instantly, and nods to the other guy who stands beside him now. I guess they think I'm someone special since Trigger is my dad.

The man who asked my name has his radio out and a second later the gates open up , they both stand to the side, offer me a nod and point to the dirt road ahead . I nod back and begin to follow the road, the anxiousness increasing the further along I drive.

I wish I could have better control over my emotions , could will them away when they wanted to take over , but I know it can't be done. I've tried before to stop them , to stop my tears to not let them run , they fell anyway.

The dirt road changes now to asphalt and a moment later I pull up to what looks like a series of derelict buildings , all surrounded by bikes. There's people milling around , some that stride purposefully across and others that are perched on their bikes without a care in the world, all men , all in leather vests. Bikers.