Iron Devils MC

4

"I'm sure Jackson will tell you"

"She's been with our mom" Jackson says so matter of factly, he truly believes that , that i've been with her this whole time and who am I to disagree , instead I nod my head , truly regretting ever imposing on this club in the first place.

I don't belong here, I've been here for about an hour and it couldn't be any more obvious.

"Where's your mum now? why didnt she come with you" Lilly asks me the question and yet again this fucking child is triggering me to breakdown.

"home" That's all I give , I don't care if it makes me a bitch to dismiss her but I do , I don't know her , nor do I want to .

I can feel the heat of his gaze, that man who looks like a literal statue only in leathers , and I refuse to acknowledge him , refusing to allow him to see the hurt in me again. I felt vulnerable when he looked at me as if he could see everything , everything I was trying so hard to bury , deep in the recesses of my mind.

"Lilly" Trigger is beside us now ruffling the hair on her head as a greeting , I hope it all falls off.

God , I'm cursing a child . What is wrong with me?

she beams up at him pulling down his hand , she knows him better than I do and I can see the love he has for her , Lilly not Sunny.

Jackson stands and suddenly all three are discussing something , family matters I'm sure , I'm too tired to pay any attention , I'm drained , but I hear the ease in which they speak , the lightness not the awkwardness that was there with me.

Fuck, after everything I've been through , this is where I lose myself . I'm letting it get to me.

"where will I be staying? '' I want to get there as soon as I can away from this, so I can process this whole shitshow without the attention .

"Here at the clubhouse, I'll get Savannah to show you to your room " Trigger says "There's not enough space in the house,otherwise I'd have you there"

"Because we live there as well me mom and Savannah" Lilly lets me know diving the knife in deeper. I swear this child has been given a list of exactly what to say to hurt me.

"Lil go get Savannah" and just like that she runs to follow out Jacksons command.

"Don't worry Sun , your room here's nice , Maggie fixed it up before you got here" Jackson lets me know and I throw him a smile , not real, but enough.

I don't care about the room , it's fine , as long as there's a bed i'll be good. That's all I'll need. I don't have much in the sense of belongings , I learnt to pack light, whatever I need I can buy.

I can't resist looking at him again and so I slowly let my eyes find him , they're already on me , this time though they dart between Jackson and me and then from Trigger and me , as if he's figuring something out , he knows i'm related to them so I don't know what else there is for him to know. I want to shout at him , ask him what his problem is , I don't and as if sensing the annoyance he's causing me by his constant stare , he smiles , Fuck .

Dimples.

He looks somewhat playful now like an animal that's captured its prey and now it's mocking , teasing. It causes a heat to spread through me , I clench between my thighs feeling the heat settle there , its uncomfortable causing me to shift slightly in my chair.

His eyes narrow and his nostrils flare as if he knows what effect he's having on me.

"how is Laney" Trigger asks about mom drawing me from combusting right there simply from a strangers stare.

He's asking about mom , I thought he hated her but I guess he's atleast trying to make convrsation. How is mom? I havent seen her for almost 3 years now , the thought stings but I've dealt with that , her absence.

"good"

"how did she feel about you coming to see me?"

"she didn't really say much"

"Does she miss us?" Jacksons question throws me and as I look up at him ,It's like he's young again , that little momma's boy , Cameron's nickname for him. His face is hopeful and I dont have the heart to break it , to tell him how she never spoke of him.

"of course she does" I remember to add a smile and an extra sweetness to my voice.

"Here she is" Lilly says reappearing now with who I assume is Savannah. The other girl from the couch when I first walked in. She's beautiful , tall and slim , she's wearing a white sundress and her whole vibe screams sweet. Her long and brunette hair is a stark contrast against her pale skin. Highlighting the golden specs in her brown eyes.

"Hi I'm Savannah you must be Sunny" she stretches out her hand and a big smile is placed on her face.

"Hi Savannah" I hide the wince that passes through me when our hands touch in greeting , and instead plaster on a smile similar to hers. She seems nice enough.

"Come , I'll show you to your room"

"Great , let me just grab my bags"

I give a quick goodbye to Trigger and Jackson and go to leave all the while I feel eyes burn into my back untill we're clear of the room and then follow Savvanah as we walk up a set of stairs ,

I should have paid some attention as to how to get to my room but I dont and I wonder how I'll find it myself when there's so many similar rooms , we continue past a second flight of stairs and then another before we make it to a floor with only 3 rooms .

"Ok so this one is Riots room , this one is also Riots room and this last one down the corridor is yours"

It's on the tip of my tongue to ask who Riot is , to know who it is I'll be sharing a floor with but I don't.

"He tends to get really violent and break stuff so don't get too scared" she says this with a pinched expression on her face almost fearful too like she hates that he does it but she's too scared to confront him.

"Try to stay out of his way, he's a fucking Asshole" they way she swears makes me want to laugh , the words dont seem natural out of her mouth like they're forced. She must see that I'm not taking her words seriosuly enough.

"I'm serious Sunny hes crazy" she further warns me and this time she truly looks terrified. This time her words get to me , putting a little extra fear in me about who will be on the same floor all alone with me.

I shrug and offer her a thank you for showing me the way not letting on that her words affected me. She stays for a moment as if there's something else she should mention but she just shakes her head and makes her way down the stairs.

Alone at last.

I make my way to my room, surprised that it's actually a decent size with an adjoining bathroom. The bed is near the door though and it takes a lot of effort to push it on my own up against the wall near the window overlooking the backyard. Jackson was right , whoever Maggie was really did a descent job at making this grey lifeless room a little warmer with a vanity mirror , a comfy looking chair and some throw pillows.

I take my time putting away my things , just some clothes and my toiletries and suddenly I feel the weight of everything hit me, and I feel drained.

I let my mind drift to the events of today, this new club .

I don't care to rehash the past or move on from my unresolved issues around my old family or confronting them, rather I'd prefer to let the anger , the hurt simmer as a reminder of the power other people have if you hand it to them.

I check the locks on the bedroom door one last time before I crash.