(On Break) FNF oneshots. I guess.

Don't fuck with thE SCIENCE TEAM!!!

Pairing: The Science Team from M:PN and child Reader

A/n: hehe, funni title.

Warnings: cursing, Crackpot, Hofnarr is so nervous please help him- also, everyone is very, very out of character. I apologize in advance-

Type: Oneshot, none to fluff?

Crackpot's p.o.v lmao:

I was currently running around my sector, shuffling some papers and skimming through them. These weren't really conclusive results but eh. You take what you can get. I suddenly felt myself trip on something, composing myself before I fell.

"AH!? What the FU-"

...

A CHILD???

IN NEXUS CITY?????

IN MY SECTOR??????????

THE FUC-

??????????????????????????????????????

I snapped out of my train of thought, not even sure when my body leaned down and held the child in my arms instead of the files. I almost dropped the kid, startling the both of us.

"WHO THE FRICK ARE YOU?????"
"Why do you have a bird mask???"
"I asked YOU first!!"
"I asked you SECOND!!"
"... Oh shoot, you're right."
"Ye."
"Uh, anti-dissonance energy mask.."
"Anti.. des-sho-nance?"
"No no, dis-so-nence."
"Uh.."
"Not important. What are you doing here? People aren't allowed in."
"I snuck in. Your security is really bad."

I stared at the kid blankly. Holy fuck. This kid gets it.

"Yeah right? Like, I respect and love the God Emperor as much as the next person but.. yeah. If a child like you can breach in, I wouldn't doubt the adults."
"Maybe I'm just smart. Or a slimy bastard. Or both"
"Sheesh kid. I can tell I'm gonna like you."
"Ok."
"Yeah. Got anywhere to stay?"
"Nope. My house is gone."
"Ahhhhhh, ok."

I put the kid onto my shoulders, giving them a piggyback ride when I turned around.

"What's your name, kid?"
"[Name]."
"[Name]- rolls right off the tongue!"

I conversed with them while walking, I knew the exact duo to take them to.

*Timeskip, Hofnarr's p.o.v*

"What."

Christoff seemed so upset at the idea, I nervously messed with the collar of my sweater. What?

"Listen, I know I may seem like an assh-"
"Why would you give US a RANDOM CHILD YOU FOUND IN YOUR SECTOR?"

Christoff almost yelled, startling me. I- I should talk to him about inside voices-

"Hey, Christoff, calm down. I- It's probably for a good reason!-"
"I snuck in and kicked 5 guards in the balls"
"Ha! I love this kid!"

Crackpot ruffled their hair, Christoff gritting his teeth in annoyance. Oh dear, what am I to do??????

"O- oh- Uhm- Dr. Crackpot, w- why did you decide to leave them with us?"
"I mean,"

Crackpot started, leaving a dramatic pause as he leaned and tilted his head to me, his next words dripping with venom.

"I might as well, considering Christoff will soon get fired, and I'll get his office. Then you'll both have so much time for them, you traitors~"

I gulp, loosely holding onto the sleeve of Christoff's coat. I can practically feel his anger-

"C- Christoff, please, don't-"

Christoff picked my hand off his sleeve, cracking his knuckles and- his- His NECK before looking at Crackpot sternly.

"I'll be giving you a 10 second headstart, since we have a child."
"Ah-ha! I KNEW you would care!!"
"9."
"Ok!"

Crackpot pat the kid's head before booking it. Geez. Christoff checked his watch sarcastically before following suit. What am I going to do with these two--

"Hey, your name's Hofnarr, right?"
"Huh?-- oh! Y- yes, my name is Hofnarr. Why?"
"Huh. Smooth-sounding."
"Never had I met someone who says "hofnarr" sounds "smooth"-"
"It's a first for everything, Hof."
"Yeah ok sure."
"You think that Crack guy is gonna live?"
"Probably. I heard Christoff punched him so hard his neck snapped once."
"Geez."
"Yep. How are you so calm about this, by the way?"
"I don't know. Nexus City isn't the weirdest place I've been."
"I see. It's.. weird to see a child stronger than me."
"Nah, don't beat yourself up. You seem to be a nerd, but like, a good type of nerd. The ones that don't remind the teachers we had homework."
"I- was that a compliment?"
"Yes"
"O h-"

(A/n: 687 words. Sorry it's not much-)