For You | Howl x Reader ✔️

16- Howl

Who was I?

What was I doing in the void?

Was I even alive?

Was I a human?

What was I?

Was I dead or alive?

What was my purpose?

What was I doing before falling into the black nothingness?

Had someone thrown me in this place where I couldn’t talk, breathe, walk, see, hear or do anything except just exist without existing?

Where was I?

What was I?

How was I?

When was I?

How much time had it been?

Was there time?

I existed yet not existed into this black nothingness until I heard a voice which wasn’t my own. It was the only voice I heard so far besides my own. At first, I couldn’t make out whose voice it was. I only knew it was a sweet and warm voice and it was somewhere far away, yet near me. I wanted to reach out to this voice and see who it belonged to, but I couldn’t. I didn’t exist but I existed.

The voice said something. Howl. Was this my name? I wasn’t even sure I existed. Then I felt something warm on nothing in particular but I knew it was warm. It was someone’s touch. I felt something inside the black void and then everything became clear. I was Howl. I was a wizard. I had fought and then fallen to the ground and gone unconscious; ending up here. And I knew who this voice belonged to. It was the woman I loved. I couldn’t be happier. But then I felt a drop fall on my face; on my real body. She was crying. Why are you crying, Y/N? I’m right here, my love. She then moved me into some position I couldn’t figure out at first, but when she put her head on my chest, I knew she had straightened my legs. I couldn’t feel her on my body for a few moments, before she was touching me here and there. Pain shot up my abdomen when she touched the part where the witch had hit me. Not here, love; it hurts here. But she couldn’t hear me of course. A moment later, I felt her hands on my wound and then she was pressing it. It hurt a lot and it kept hurting until she moved her hands away. It felt a little better after that. She had performed a healing spell. I’m proud of you, my beautiful love. I couldn’t feel her for a few minutes and then her forehead was on top of mine and her tears fell on my face. I’m here, Y/N. I’m here. Don’t cry. It will be okay. I will fight for you, Y/N, so that I can make you happy again. Just hang in there for a little longer. I’m fighting death for you. And then I felt her lips on mine. She kissed me with an intensity she didn’t do before. I wanted to kiss her back and I wanted to hold her. But I couldn’t. She licked my lips and I felt her smile in the kiss. You like licking my blood, huh. She kept her lips on top of mine for a whole lot longer than she had before and I loved the feeling, but for some reason, the kiss seemed final and parting. A moment later, I felt her lips of my forehead. I wanted her lips to remain there forever, but she pulled away as soon as she had put her lips on my forehead. A moment later, she spoke and her words were the most terrifying words I had heard. “I love you, Howl, and I always will until I die,” she said. I love you too my dear, sweet, Y/N. But something in her tone seemed off. “I hope you will forgive me for leaving and I hope you will understand that it’s necessary,” she said with the saddest voice. What? No, Y/N. Stop. I’m fighting for life for you so that I can see you and be with you and love you. Don’t do this. “Thank you for everything you did for me and I apologize for all the troubles you went through because of me.” I don’t need thank yous and apologies; I need you.  “Maybe one day we can cross paths and maybe I can see you once again; maybe life would give me that chance; or maybe it won’t. Nonetheless, find someone worthy of yourself and love her. Goodbye, love.” No, wait. Don’t leave. I kept shouting and trying to fight off the unconsciousness but I failed and then she had left me. Forever.