WAS IT A MISTAKE!!??

XXX

When they entered the room and yibo thrown on the bed, his eyes already drowsy, already on and ready to start playing as something caught his mind and sat upright but the pain between his legs never spared him while Zhan went to prepare some things needed, took his phone and called Cheng.

"Yes, hello Cheng! Did you see the doctor?" Horror now his face looks

"I'm outside the hospital right now, Haikuan gave me a ride today, why?"

"Almost forgot because of our session, I'm coming right away, greet Haikuan ge" speaking cheerfully Cheng nodded and they hung up.

"Where are you going with that?" Pointing at yibo's boner.

"I almost forgot the appointment with the psychologist Zhan? We should stop this and go, I can't miss it" ever since that incident at the concert, yibo and Cheng finally started there daily visits to the psychologist, who was no other than Rylan Wang, which doctor Zhou Yu Tong recommend to them, every Friday in a week they must go for a consultation and seeing how much progress they made.

"With that! Isn't it painful? Look, thankfully mine it's no a big problem because I can calm myself but you! This? The pain you feel down there I can't withstand it even if it's not me, but I know how it is, that's why? Let me release you and we will continue at night okay?" Speaking so, yibo only nodded and shortly moans can be heard from yibo, releasing on zhan's hand reaching the sheets, Zhan carried yibo for shower as the boy refused to leave like that and he changed the shits, oh, what an extra work is this!!!

Arriving at the hospital, they met Haikuan who was waiting for Cheng as yibo also needed to wait for his turn. Soon after Cheng was out and little his face shone with happiness even without smiling that was enough.

"Yibo, Zhan" greeting each other, Cheng and kuan said bye to them as yibo entered Inside.

"Evening doctor Wang" he greeted.

"Evening too little kid, so how's your health now days" looking at his chart.

"Great! I can say that" he spoke

"You can say that, but you are not sure or....is there anything that still makes you insecure?" Looking at him

"I don't know but what I want right now is to overcome this so called fear, for Zhan, he might not know it but when we do that?! Sex, I become very scared yet Zhan always knows that I'm afraid of the pain we feel when doing and so, so but I'm good at hidding it, so I just want to be strong for Zhan and always never become a burden to him" the first time they did he didn't have that fear, maybe because he was too crazy for it, but as the days go on and he could see the starting process till the core, that fear like of being touched down there by his Zhan creeps him and thought maybe saying this today, he would get a solution.

"Yibo, here is a question, why do you come here to see me, a psychologist, why?"

"Want to get healed from what I experienced before" correct.

"Then whom are you doing this for, is it Zhan or yourself?" Caught on track, yibo started thinking, during that small talk with his Cheng, all he said is to be strong and so, so for Zhan, and today he even wants to overcome this for Zhan, so what's the answer.

"For myself of course" he answered.

"Listen yibo, your body comes here because you have to this every Friday but your mind says that you have to do this for Zhan, Which is not right. If you do this for Zhan then you won't treat your mental and physical psychology and the same thing will happen to you if you encounter something like that of the past. Here comes, you have to set your body and mind that, you are doing this for no one but you, you yourself should overcome that fear and It'll be better even for Zhan as he will have no worries even if he leaves your side for a minute, because you'll be able to stay strong as you say and save yourself, do you get it" agreeing to the doctor he is right, ' if I had to face my mom right now? Then the same situation will hover me and I'll have the same effects which at that time, Zhan won't be there to say that I'm doing it for him, my protective side of him is of love and the fear I was talking about was of losing him to the other man or girl but not my current condition, so the doctor is right '

"I understand doctor"

"And the other fact you said right now, Is? your subconscious mind reminds you about the past incident, thus your brain fights with it making you relate the past deed with your current ones, as you said she used your hands for her desire but now you take those hands of Zhan as yours, you see them as disgusting. That's when you get the feeling of dirtiness from your past, comparing it with when Zhan touches you, the Disgust you feel is two times when doing it. Thankfully it has not reached in a bad stage"

"What stage doctor?" Guilty feeling him

"You could just have normal touches that don't involve sex, or you wouldn't even let him undress you, because in any ways your hands might be part of it and that would be very bad in case you'd do something harmful to him or yourself on process" explaining more

"What! So you mean that was going to be a huge problem developed by what I experienced" just why..

"Professionally yes, but don't worry you can fight this. Always no one feels good during sex unless it's a harassment. So, during that session, make yourself feel and think about him, you know what I'm inquiring on, put Zhan inside your mind and let it cloud you to evacuate all other things away, that way you won't have to see his touch dirty, you'll feel more comfortable when you do" he explained again.

"Poor me, my Zhan, was I really on the verge of pushing him away? Doctor I'm willing to follow as you said" and there after a small talk? A small session followed, it really tires yibo, just lying closing his eyes, hands tied sideways, beside there is sitting doctor with a watch on his hands.

Reminiscing the memories, for him not to freak out as he does, still he writhes a little to where he is laying, soon it comes to a stop and his hands are unlocked, opening his eyes, the doctor gives him some pills just to stabilize his weak time body from the session, Zhan is called and they go home together with Yi Zhou driving them as the medicine takes it's part and he sleeps.

"Cheng" called kuan. They were sitting rooftop having drinks looking at the top of the elegant houses with various decorations

"Hmm" sipping his drinks

"Are we really brothers?" Sipping his drink. "But why? Didn't I have that feeling no matter how hard I tried, I've always seen you differently, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I can't see you as a brother for this long, I'm tired" spoke kuan. "Hit me with anything, use even an extension wire, I don't care as long as your feelings are stabilized" he spoke looking at him

"Did I hear it wrong...THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EVEN WHEN I TURNED TWELVE!! at least" roaring at him. "You can be a pedophile for me, I don't care because nor I? Never saw you as a brother but a man, a man whom I can leave my life with? I'm tired of writing my feelings to those papers and keep reading them at night when I have no sleep, I have to buy new pens just for that, I thought I would die with a one sided love because my wish was for you to return those feelings-

"Cheng...

"Let me speak!!" Looking at kuan, his face already with streaming tears. "Do you want to know when it started, when I was... don't remember. I didn't see you as a brother and for the first time when I was seven I wrote that "I don't want Haikuan as a brother" there since I saw you differently, things became trouble for me when I was eleven, for exactly I didn't know what love meant but I knew I was on that direction. Care to ask why I loved convincing father to wait for you during dinner when I get to know you'll be back from work, my mind and heart shouted for one time that I love you.and wanted to see your face. I felt jealous when you took most of your time with yibo when you met and didn't give me even a slight glance, just why didn't you say sooner" he is crying because he is happy, happy that he is not a brother to Haikuan but something different, very happy and funny that Haikuan put a blame on him for not being a good brother he has to, of course I'll beat him because he kept also suffering about his feelings and not speak out, he will be of a good husband for sure and there Cheng looked at the speechless Haikuan but glimpse of happy is seen on his face......

"Mind if I see the pain in those letters before I run into conclusion?...........