I'd KILL for you

love. pathetic.

We finished up and by then it was around 2:37, no use in going back to school. Claire drove us to my house. I sat in the back by Izzy and James. I wanted to die just from all the flirting. "Get a room, jeez," I thought to myself. It's not that I'm a scrooge on love. I had a boyfriend once too much work to keep around. They're like dogs. You must take care of them because they can't be alone. Then I lowered my standards too low, according to Claire. She told me to give people a chance you might like it. Yeah right, last time I did I ended up eating a tub of ice cream crying my eyes out to cheesy ass movies. Love can be nice at the right times, but it can be cruel when it isn't the right time. You just must be patient, according to Izzy. Love is deceiving my mum and dad seemed to be in love with each other my whole life until I was 13, then the fighting started. It got to where I didn't want to be there anymore. Dad moved out after my first attempt to leave this god damn earth. I haven't tried since dad left. Things have been okay since I met Claire. She seems to make the pain go away with the way she's so into emotions and everything.

We got to my house. My mom was at work. She had the night shift, so she'll be home around 5-6 am. Normal in this house. She had to support me and her with dad barley contributing to us even though he called me and said he would send money soon but called a week later saying he couldn't send money because he spent it at the casino. Typical. He was nice at first then he started getting drunk 24/7. Mum hated that but he came in with the apologies and smoothed it over it was until mum fought back and he started hitting her. I got involved when he started, I don't know what came over me though. I just snapped, I guess. He would always say he loved us. Yeah, that was love. A shitshow if it was.

I love you he said. Bullshit, if you loved me and mom so much, why did you treat us like shit? You didn't love us; you loved the attention.