I'd KILL for you

James's house.

his house is not like a mansion but its not your average middle class house.

i stood at the door debating/ hyping myself up. "you got this grey, its just some guys house, some guy you've been in love with since 4th grade but still, just. a. boy.  i sighed and knocked. 1...2... the door opened. I'm shaking. "hey grey come on in" i looked at him and smiled, relive flooded over my whole body. "um alright" i looked around, this could fit 4 of my apartments inside only the first floor. "um where do you want to work?" i was startled by his voice, " anywhere i don't mind" i shrugged. he looked as nerves as i did, i followed him to the kitchen "want a drink?" i did but i hate asking or being giving things. "no!" he looked at me suprised, "i-i mean no thanks" IDIOT. GOD. i hated myself more than normal, why do i say such stupid things. i hate the way i act. i hate me most of the time, except when i dress up or see myself in the mirror. i loved him "hello....grey?" i snapped to attention "yes?" he looked concerned, "you left for a second, whats on your mind?" i love you, i love you, shit shit shit, im a bitch, i shouldn't be alive, why do you love Claire and not me?! "nothing, im fine" i smiled,  don't say anything, dont say anything. he shrugged "alright, so what should we do for the proje...." the rest was a blur, all i remember after that is driving home. we got an A, don't know what happened but it happened, Claire and James were flirting. i hate it i hate her. "hey! greyy!" i looked over it was Claire she was waving me down, "hey claire!" okay i hate her but i can't hate her to her face.