𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 || 𝘫𝘫 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘬

𝐒 𝐈 𝐗

Aleena's POV:

I am running along the beach, running as fast as possible while trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes.

I can't take it anymore. I can't deal with this shit anymore! It's so fucking hard. I did nothing wrong, I was only trying to protect someone I care about, right? Yet, why do I feel like it's all my fault? Like, I cause all the problems? Like, I'm a curse, a bad luck charm that brings nothing but trouble wherever I go?

As I search for a quiet place to be alone with my thoughts, I spot a section of the beach that is deserted except for a few large rocks. I make my way towards them while looking around. When I reach the rocks, I drop to my knees and let out a loud, guttural cry that echoes across the beach.

I lean against one of the rocks, now sitting on the sand with my hands covering my face. I scream and cry, letting out all the pain and frustration that I've been bottling up inside. I grip the sand tightly, trying to find some way to ease the overwhelming emotions and pain that are threatening to drown me.

But it's no use. I can't escape the harsh reality of my situation. Everywhere I go, nothing good comes my way, and no one seems to care. Am I that idiotic enough to think that this would work? To find the John B who cared about me again? Am I really that stupid to think that things could work out between us?

I'm still crying, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall, sobbing like a child. I don't even hear the soft sound of footsteps approaching me until I hear someone calling my name.

"Aleena?"

I turn my head slightly and see JJ standing there, looking at me with concern. How long has he been standing there, watching me cry? I sniffle and wipe my eyes, trying to clean up the smeared mascara that has ruined my face. I probably look like a wreck. I put on my fake smile, which I became quite an expert at, and stand on my feet.

"Oh hey JJ!" I try to sound cheerful, even though my eyes are still filled with tears. "What are you doing here?" I ask, not once stuttering, trying to divert his attention away from me.

"Smoking. This is my spot... Nevermind." He sounds uncertain.

"Oh."

"What are you doing here? Ar- are you okay?" He asks, looking at me with a mix of worry and confusion.

There, Those three words, one sentence, ten letters - "Are you okay?" - are all it takes to make me crumble once again. I let out another loud cry and collapse back onto the sand, my face hidden between my knees. JJ just stands there for a moment, considering what he should do, until he finally wanders over and sits down beside me. He takes my hands in his and puts them back on the sand. I flinch slightly at his touch.

Please, oh god, I hope he didn't notice. He might think I'm scared of him.

JJ doesn't know what to do, he probably never got in such situations. He just positions himself next to me and tries to calm me down by rubbing my back gently. It works, and I begin to feel a little better. But then I go back to stage one as the doubts and insecurities creep back in, and another wave of tears washes over me, coursing down my cheeks.

I've never cried in front of anyone before, and I rarely cry when I'm alone. I hate feeling weak, and crying always makes me feel like I'm losing control. But now, I can't hold it in anymore.

I sit up, feeling more vulnerable and exposed than I ever have before. I wrap my arms around JJ tightly, just needing a hug, some kind of physical contact that isn't painful. It's been so long since I've had a hug.

I trick everyone around me and trying to pretend, even to myself.

JJ freezes in the area, not sure how to react. I know that JJ knows about all the terrible things I've done. He only heard about how horrible I am, and I feel so ashamed. He never heard of this side of me, the one I want to hide for everyone because I'm scared of it.