Absolute Chaos (Misc. Book)

[Vent Post] Pressure

Trigger Warning: Homophobia, transphobia, Anti-LGBTQ+ stuff

I don't usually bring up controversial stuff up on my account because I come up here to avoid those topics, but I've had no one else to talk to about this because...well, you read the trigger warnings...

I'm tired of being taught that being gay/trans is a sin and that lgbt minorities don't deserve rights. Shows such as Steven Universe with lgbt rep was just normal to me. I didn't care and none of my friends seemed to care because we all were too busy shipping rubphire (Ruby x Sapphire), Amedot, Lapidot, etc. So when I started hearing about anti-gay/trans stuff (ex. Being gay is a sin, being trans is a choice, etc.), I was confused...and worried. It's 2022 and about 99% of my classmates and teachers I've met so far don't support lgbt rights, and most of them don't even want to admit they're wrong. I don't know of anyone in my family who supports lgbtq. They just tell me that it's not right. It makes me sick to my stomach every time I hear something anti-lgbtq. I feel constant pressure from authoritative figures and friend and classmates to respect but don't support the "sinners". Sometimes I see a gay ship or a trans/non-binary character and I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over me for ever liking that said character/ship for being lgbtq. Sometimes I see real people who are gay/bi/trans/ace/etc. and I feel guilty for not speaking up about this topic often in fear of being silenced or shunned from my loved ones. I'm just...terrified, that's all. I don't know what to do.

Sorry for the sudden vent post. I've been on and off social media lately for personal reasons and a recent discussion kinda just...nearly led me to having a breakdown.

Any advice or encouragement in the comments section would be great.

Self-care stuff is okay too if you can't think of any advice to say.

I just need to get my mind off of this.

I apologize again for making anyone uncomfortable.

Felt a bit nauseous after posting this. Gonna lay down for a while...