The Guide To Becoming a Chameleon

10. I Don't Think I Know What I'm Looking For

I'm in a car again. In the passenger's seat. This time, I'm not little anymore. My head reaches high enough. I wait for something. Anything. Nothing happens. Groaning impatiently, I open the door of the car and step out. I look down and freeze, my breath growing erratic.

"Jake?" I say to the body lying on the road, "Jake!"

His skin is pale and there's a pool of blood spreading around him. His face looks untouched if not a little out of colour, his hair covering one of his eyes. The only difference is that there is barely any light in his eyes anymore. I fall to my knees in front of him, shaking his body.

"Jake, Shit!"

He can't- No. I fumble with my phone when I feel something grab my wrist very tight. My breath stops when I look down at Jake's fingers hard around my skin, turning it pale and out of blood.

"You're all alone now, Kiara." He says, making me suck in a breath. My heart pounds so fast, as if it's going to burst right out of my chest. And then its Natasha's body lying there instead of Jake's, her long nails digging into my skin.

"You're all alone."

And then Tyler.

"You're all alone."

And then it's him.

"You're on your own now, baby." He whispers and then light leaves his eyes, his head lolling lifelessly on the ground.

"Daddy?" I hear myself say, a childlike voice. "Papa!"

­_ _ _ 

Nat questions me rapidly in the morning, and I tell her everything. She drives me home quietly after I tell her not to do anything right after she threatens to do stuff to Jake right after she hears everything from me after breakfast.

"You gonna be okay?" She asks after my house is in view. I press my lips together and nod, opening the door of the car while trying not to remember the nightmare I had last night.

I walk to the door and twist the knob, barely making a sound but then an unnatural, eerie silence falls over the house. Closing the door behind me I walk to the couch and see mom, dad and Tyler all sitting on the dining table. They must be talking about Ty's studies.

"What's going on?" I ask and everyone turns to look at me.

"How was Natasha's, sweetie?" Mom asks gently and I frown at the sudden change of topic. I walk closer to see my cut-outs of Benjamin Waters spread out on the table. I inhale sharply and force my brain to come up with a natural lie.
"What are you doing with my project pictures?" I ask.

Tyler scoffs, "That's what we're calling them now?"

"Tyler." Dad reprimands and looks at me, "Kiara, what is going on?"

I slowly walk to my place in the table and sit down. Wrapping my arms around myself, I ask, "What do you mean?"

Mom tilts her head to look at me, sympathy etched on her face like it's something she isn't able to take out. "I think you know exactly what we mean."

Words pour out of my mouth. The nightmares. Benjamin Waters. Everything. Everything except Jake. Throughout my blabber, Mom's eyes turn glassy and Ty's lips part. He takes on a certain regretful expression when I tell him about my nightmare on the couch, when he was there.
Once I'm done, mom gives me a motherly look. One I've seen tons of times on her face since the day she adopted me.
"How could you have gone through all of that alone?" She almost whispers, taking my hand in hers.

"I didn't," I say, "I had Nat with me and a friend, but that doesn't matter."

Nobody questions it.

Mom takes in a deep breath. "I believe we're both at fault here. Us, for making you think that you couldn't tell us. And we're truly very sorry for that." She says, "And you, for keeping your distance from us. We are your family, honey. Do you have any idea what that means?"