Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 5....

Two layovers and many many hours later we were finally on our way to the island. Everyone was extremely exhausted but you could feel the excitement building the closer we got to the hotel. Because of where it was at the only way in was on a boat. The boat only ran at certain times so once we were on the island there really wasn't a way off.

The tour guide on the boat was listing off facts about the island but I tuned him out as I gazed out at the water. I was squeezed in-between Sydni and the side of the boat, the others scattered around as we shared the boat with a few other tourists.

"The island has..." The guy was saying but I once again tuned him out. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, feeling the wind hit my face. The smell of the ocean filling my nose. The breeze nipped at my skin causing goosebumps but the sun brushed them away.

Turning my head to the side I looked down at the water. The pictures I had seen online not doing it an ounce of justice. The closer we got to the hotel the clearer and bluer it got. So clear that I wanted to dip my hand in. I would have if the boat wasn't going so fast.

We weren't even there yet and I already felt my mind clearing up. After my little 'moment' with the flight attendant things got awkward. Once I had calmed down to think rationally a wave of embarrassment hit me in full force.

Things from my past had clouded my judgment and made me overreact...slightly. The lady didn't need to be so touchy with anyone so I didn't really feel all that bad about how I reacted. It was more embarrassment of Trevor having to see me do that. Looking back on it from another persons perspective, even his, I had acted like a jealous girlfriend when I was far from one.

Thankfully I was spared more humiliation when I was seated next to Lydia for the next flight while Trevor sat with Landon. I knew I had to apologize and had started to when we got off the plane but it all got so hectic trying to get our baggage and make it to the boat before it left.

Feeling someone's eyes on me I looked away from the water and met a pair of stunning green eyes. The only eyes that seemed to make the oceans color pale in comparison.

Trevor was sitting across the boat from me. His big frame squished between Lydia and a random stranger. I had to pinch my lips together to stop from laughing at the way his body didn't fit on the little bench. His long legs almost pushed up to his chest.

A look passed over his face but before I could even process what it was the feel of the boat slowing underneath of me jerked my attention elsewhere.

"Once we dock we will help you get off. Your luggage will be taken to your rooms separately." The guide said as he moved around the boat.

I was itching to get off the boat and stretch my legs. According to Australian time it was only 2 in the afternoon, even though to us it felt like 11 at night. We all agreed to try and stay up to help with the jetlag, so tomorrow we can start our actual vacation.

I already knew what I was going to do after we checked in. The beach was calling my name. My toes aching to feel the sand and water and the ocean breeze against my skin.

When we docked I tried to wait patiently to get off but when this older lady moved like a snail in front of me I was seconds away from shoving her off myself. I would have done everyone the favor but forced myself to stay back a few steps and let her hobble off.

The moment my feet touched the ground I let out a sigh. Finally we made it. Seeing as I was one of the last ones off the boat I made my way towards my friends. At least we didn't have to carry our bags to our rooms.

"We are here!" Josie squealed as soon as we all stood around each other. Bryton let out an un-enthusiastic 'yay' that had me laughing under my breath. We were happy to be here but having spent the last day and half traveling we were all just exhausted.