Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 20....

"I'm so glad you're back. I can't lose my favorite doctor."

I grinned over at Mr. Waltham, as he lowered himself into the chair. Mr. Waltham has been coming to me for almost six months and is probably one of the sweetest old man you'll ever meet.

"You could never lose me Henry."

"Best Doc in town." No matter how many times I've told him I'm not really a doctor he still calls me Doc. I've long since given up trying to tell him otherwise.

"How are we doing today?" With my notepad in my lap, I leaned back in my chair.

"Good, good. I got a new neighbor."

"Oh really?"

Mr. Waltham was one of my...different clients. He didn't really have a reason to go to counseling. At the age of 75 he mainly came to have someone to talk too. Someone to interact with weekly. He had some of the best stories as well. He lived in a cute retirement community but claimed half the people there were too snooty for him.

He was a soldier in the Vietnam War and had been married to his wife for over 40 years until she passed a few years ago. When he lost his wife, he lost the one person he could talk to everyday.

I have told him he doesn't need to come in weekly but he just shakes his head and comes anyway. I feel bad that he's paying for weekly sessions just to talk but I'm not going to turn him away. He can come as long as he wants.

That's one thing I told myself when I got this job. No matter the person or the problem they can come to me as long as they want. I won't ever turn someone away.

"Her name is Rosette. She moved in a few weeks ago." My eyebrows raised at the mention that his new neighbor is a woman. It's the first time he's spoken about another woman that wasn't his late wife. I was a little surprised this was the first time he's brought her up if she moved in a few weeks ago.

"Have you gone over and introduced yourself?"

"Why would I do that?" Mr. Waltham looked at me like I had snakes coming out of my ears.

"So you can meet your new neighbor." I held back a grin. He was typically a social butterfly. Always telling me about some new person he met, even if that person was some kid he met at Applebee's. I wasn't certain yet but I had a feeling it was because his new neighbor was a woman.

"You may find that you have something in common with her." I continued. Mr. Waltham just shook his head. I had a feeling he kind of liked this Rosette. My eyes dropped to his hands, his right hand fingering the wedding ring on his left. My heart squeezed in my chest.

"Is it because of Carol?" I asked softly. In the last six months he's talked non-stop about his late wife. Telling me story after story about how they met, how they use to go dancing, how she was the greatest love of his life.

I stayed quiet as he fidgeted with his ring.

"It's still hard to believe she's gone." His voice turned soft. "Some days I wake up and roll over thinking she'll be there, smiling over at me like she always did. We did everything together."

"Are you afraid that Carol would be upset if you talked to your new neighbor?"

"No." Mr. Waltham shook his head. "She probably would have hit me on the head for not going right over and introducing myself." I chuckled along with him.

"So why not go over?" I could tell my question hit close to home, as he leaned back against the chair with a sigh.

I know why he hasn't gone over and talked to his neighbor, he just doesn't want to say it out loud. The moment he actually talks to another woman it will really mean Carol is gone. In his mind it would be cheating on his wife.