PERIPHERY | NH |

NINE

Hunter

It was just books.

Books.

This?

This is just dinner.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I point at myself attempting some kind of pep talk.

Ever since I opened my front door this morning to see Niall on the other side my mind has not stopped working in circles, giving me absolutely no time to catch up.

Not only was I not expecting company, I definitely wasn't expecting Niall to show up at my front door while I wore silk pajama shorts that barely covered my ass and a college shirt with holes in the collar.

Honestly I thought if I stood in my closet long enough he would just disappear.

Nope.

As soon as I came around that corner after too many prayers, there he stood.

I hated how fucking attractive he was. If anything, I really hated how it felt like he could look right through me like he could pick out every detail of my mind and then put it into a conversation.

Last night when I decided to go to the bar with him at the last minute I thought that I would regret it — but I didn't, of course I didn't.

Where I was quiet and shy, wanting to keep to myself, none of that existed when I was around Niall.

Growing up turned me into a person that never wanted to be seen. No matter what I did it either wasn't good enough or it was just wrong from the start. When you deal with that enough it turns you into a shell of what you felt like you could be, even long after you've removed yourself from the places that turned you in on yourself.

Cooper was the person who really knew me. Deep down he knew every single part of me. When it came to relationships, yes I loved with what I could give..

But what happens when you can't even give enough because you know that as soon as you do people always leave anyway— taking it with them?

Choosing to be behind the scenes in the music industry meant that I could be creative and quiet, but with Niall he didn't want me to be quiet. The more time I'd spent working around him and even with his team, the more time I found myself being able to speak up more than I'd ever done in the past.

Opening up to him while I sailed past tipsy and teetered on the edge of wasted was something that would have never crossed my mind. Even when I knocked the glass of water over, Niall made me feel like I was normal, like his laugh mixing with mine was a sound that shouldn't make me feel like it did.

Regardless, whatever feelings stirred deep within me didn't matter. At the end of the day it really just came down to the facts that I was learning.

Niall was nice.

He was nice to everyone.

I was no different than the other people that he employed and engaged in pleasant conversations with and that was fine by me. It would be so much easier to ignore any other thoughts that came through my mind when I thought about it.

Don't get me started on how Niall not only paid for the books that I had managed to pick up in the few hours that we were there but he refused to let me pay him back for them.

We compromised though, thank fucking god.

You know what?

I can't even be mad.