The Search For MINECRAFT CYAN

Anything Ever, Anywhere

The Skeld docked at Mira HQ with a loud thud. As Dayne and Tyler Blevins made their way to the entrance, the ship wobbled like a bowling pin that was about to fall down (not like from the bowling R34 gif, guys. Not like that).

"Plenty of people here think Mira HQ is some government headquarters," Tyler explained, crossing his arms. "But no, it's just a play thing for the National Among Us Games. No one uses it anymore, so I converted it to my main base of operations."

The airlock between the Skeld and Mira HQ slid open with a hiss as Tyler motioned for Dayne to follow him inside.

Walking into the building, Dayne asked a question. "What do you mean, 'base of operations?' What the hell is going on?"

Tyler walked down a long, empty corridor, and into a dining room with a single rectangular table and two chairs on either end. The chair furthest from the door had a dish of takis and a glass of G-Fuel, while the chair opposite of that had a bacon and egg breakfast along with a glass of Orange Juice (Sunny D!). Tyler took a seat in the chair furthest from the door and motioned for Dayne sit down in the chair across from him. Dayne did as he was told. He was such a sheep, am I right?

"Yeah, it is about time I explained everything, isn't it?" Tyler smirked, sipping from his G-Fuel. "First off, I'd like to say that I envy you. I'm not the best cook, so those eggs are probably shit, but they're still better than what I have to eat," Tyler pointed towards his dish. "My body can only intake Takis and G-Fuel. A medical condition."

Dayne nodded, though he awkwardly gazed towards the floor with an eyebrow raised. "Uh... sure," he picked up his fork and knife and started to cut into the egg. 3 slices vertical, 3 slices across, just like he'd do at home. He watched as the wet, slimy yolk inched out across his plate and soaked the egg white. "Okay, um, care to explain why you, Tyler Ninja Fortnite Blevins, is in 'Amogus Land,' flying the Skeld from Among Us?"

"Ahh, yes," Tyler leaned back in his chair and took a bite out of a Taki. "The first time I was transported happened years ago. I had been streaming H1Z1 for a couple months, but I was still absolutely irrelevant. No one knew my name. When people said 'Ninja,' they still thought of the dudes in pajamas. But then, one day, everything changed.

"I was walking down the road, minding my own business, when suddenly, a rift opened in front of me by pure chance. Everything around me, including my neighbor's dead cat, was sucked into the portal. I tried to hold on, but I couldn't grip the concrete sidewalk, and was thrusted into oblivion."

Dayne raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but why was your neighbor's dead cat nearby?"

Tyler placed his finger against his lips. "Shush, Dayne. No one checks the dead cats for drugs, after all."

"Fair point. Continue."

"Right, anyways," Tyler continued. "As I spiraled through the rift, I heard a manly, godly voice beckon out to me.

" 'Ay bruv,' the voice had said, very cooly. 'I'm sending you on a free vacation to an alternate reality, bruv. Enjoy it.'

"I was too shocked to respond, so I just let myself plummet into the unknown in silence. Sure enough, I was spit out in seconds, only now, I was falling from the sky. My brain had no time to digest what was happening--"

Dayne snorted some Orange Juice out his nose and started to cackle. "Wdym 'your brain had no time to digest what happened?' " He pointed at Tyler and laughed. "The brain isn't your digestive track, idiot."

"One, I feed my brain facts and logic, so if I want my brain to be a digestive tract, it is. And second, at least I don't say each individual letter in 'What-Do-You-Mean, so just shut the fuck up and let me finish," Tyler cleared his throat. "As I was saying...