The Search For MINECRAFT CYAN

MINECRAFT CYAN Drops The Soap

MINECRAFT CYAN was in jail, what a shocker. Being in jail, man, it must've sucked. I mean, it wasn't that different from being outside: he still contributed nothing to both society and also the plot, so yeah. But today was a new day. A bigger, better, epic, bigger day.

You know what, bro, MINECRAFT CYAN thought, I'm going to do something today! And for once in my entire life, something I do won't be a one off occurrence.

MINECRAFT CYAN turned to his cellmate, Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson (AKA Help Me I'm Being Impregnated Crewmate (color code is #d900d6, btw)). "Yo, Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson," MINECRAFT CYAN exclaimed with such [emotion], "I'm going to do something today, dude!"

Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson laughed. "You? Doing something? That's totally bullshit! The only thing you do is drop the soap!! hAhahaAhhahAHhhAHahaha! I'm so funny :)"

MINECRAFT CYAN did a MINECRAFT-CYAN frown. This was a very frownish moment. Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson didn't think MINECRAFT CYAN could do anything productive, ever. Of course, you already knew that since I said that in the previous paragraph, but you can never be too sure if someone skipped a paragraph or not.

"You know what, Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson?" MINECRAFT CYAN sayed. "I'm going to prove you wrong, bro! Imma bust outta dis joint, and soon as I'm out, imma gest a good ringer to this tale, aight man-bear?"

"Man, there's some slang in there I didn't even know was slang," Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson took a long, hard sigh. Like, seriously. It was really hard. And really long. Just like ma dick!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Anyways, Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson continued, ignoring the fact that I made a penis joke and expected you to laugh, "Look man, I think maybe you should just relax, and you'll be outta here quicker than you think. Afterall, you were only given, like, a 2 week sentence even though you nuked a forest, took drugs, and possibly murdered 4 people. You should be able to wait this one out fairly easily."

MINECRAFT CYAN actually laughed at Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson's proposal. " 'Wait it out?' Johnny-Rose Jonson-Roseson, if I wait it out, I'll die of old age, man! I can't wait this one out, aight? I can't wait this one out. I'm doing a prison break, whether you like it or not!"

"Okay, and how exactly do you expect to get out of this cell? It's not like the door's unlocked."

MINECRAFT CYAN opened the door and stepped out into the prison hallway. "That was tight, bro. Also ridiculously sneaky. Could possibly be because I'm wearing Sketchers Ultimate Sneakers™ -- the sneakiest of sneakers™."

Suddenly, every single jail cell door opened on its own, and a long BwAAAhhHHHHHHhhhHH wailed through the wallways, echoing from the main speaker system. Surely something had gone wrong in the security booth to open these cell doors, and now, surely, these were the sirens blaring?

Eh, who am I kidding, you get this story by now.

A voice on the loudspeaker cleared their voice (on the loudspeaker) and spoke with their voice (on the loudspeaker). He spoke like Cave Johnson, from that one game where they shoot portals into white people. I mean, white walls. "Eh-hem, sorry, sorry. What you may have just heard was my baby, crying into the intercoms. I assure you, that was not intentional, in any way. What was intentional, however, was letting you all out of your jail cells. Now you may be asking, 'awesome, cool, why did you do that?' Well, I did it for science, obviously. I promise, we are not getting paid by a sketchy shadow organization to make you fight to the death and the last one standing gets sent to the national Among Us games. That would be ridiculous. Also, considering I'm going to die in six months of cancer-from-the-moon --don't worry, it's only contagious if you're near me--, I'm also going to be participating in this epic battle of legendary proportions. In this Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. And yes, I will be using Lemons, you homeless tyrants.