A Thousand Thoughts |Dabi X Reader|

Wrong Room, Sorry

Walking out of my room after a whole day of avoiding everyone I decide to apalogize to Dabi. I should've been more considerate of his feeling before I tried to kiss him. I just couldn't resist. He looked so hopeful, and the way he was studying me all night made me think that maybe he liked me too. Who knows, maybe he was just surprised and that's why he left...?

Hope soars in me and I can feel myself become delicate like a tea cup. It can drop and shatter at any moment but it can also be filled with warming, delicious tea. Breathing deeply I watch as my feet guide me down dim halls, white walls and the cold, flat floor.

As I get closer I think over what I'm going to say: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you, you were in pain and it wasn't appropriate. No... that sounds to formal and stiff. Hey, sorry for almost kissing you last night, hope your not mad! No. Just no. I look up when I get closer to Dabi's room. I freeze. My feet can't move and I can't speak but my heart seems to go a million miles an hour.

Dabi stands, his back on the wall, scrambling to open the door beside him. A Greek goddess of a women, with beautiful curves and showy clothes, is wrapped around his waist. His hands hold her lower back, her hands in his hair, to afraid to caress his face. Their lips are locked to each other, and I suddenly feel out of place. He groans, and a blush spreads on my cheeks.

My hope dies, the tea cup shatters on concrete, never to be fixed again. My mouth drops open and I can't stop the tears that blurry my vision. Dabi seems to sense me and breaks their kiss, looking over the women's shoulder. To me. Standing awkwardly, and heartbroken in the hallway before him. His teal eyes Peirce into me, glaring. I open my mouth but nothing comes out, I try again and say, "Wrong room, sorry."

I can smell her perfume from here. A flowery, sweet smell. Feeling like I'm about to throw up I look from him to her, turn around and walk away. But as what I saw really sets in and once I get far enough away from him, I sprint to my room. I throw the door open with a bang and run to the bathroom. Doubled over, I grip the sides of the porcelain toilet and wretch. My lunch and breakfast come up, my throat burns and tears escape me.

Once my stomach is done emptying itself, I brush my teeth and walk back into my room. I close me door, fall on my bed, find some depressing music, and cry. I usually have trouble crying but now, the tears fall like never before. Like rain drops on a cold, windy, merciless day, pelting the ground with harsh bullets of water. They drain out of me.

Everything feels to hot, yet to cold. I feel like I can't breathe, I try and breathe through my nose but its to stuffy. My throat is to sore and a migraine buzzes around my head. Fuck. Y/N, why did you give him your heart. You should've expected him to crush it. He is no sweet, perfect boy. He is a cruel, coldhearted asshole that only likes one night stands and flirting with every breathing thing.

He probably is off, sucking that girl's face right now. God. What is it that she has that I don't? Easy, everything. For one, his attention. Two, beautiful, natural curves, wide hips and big tiddies. Silky long hair, perfect makeup, cute, revealing clothes.

What do I have? The exact opposite of that. I have a small body with average curves, normal hair, I only wear make up for special occasions because I forget to take it off, and I basically live in big, baggy shirts and jeans.

Why am I thinking about this? It doesn't matter. He simply doesn't like me, he probably hates me for interrupting his... fun. I actually thought that he liked me, that I had a chance?

I pull my body into my arms, hiding my face in my knees. My shoulders shake and I feel as if the world is trying to ruin me.

Dabi is a villain. He will probably never settle down. Plus, for a twenty one year old like me? No. He'd want a confident, sassy, attractive girl who would worship him.

I mean, I would worship him if I was giving the chance, I think smirking. FOCUS Y/N. That is not the point. The point is last night you tried to kiss him, he turned away and left. You go to apalogize and find him making out with some model who's to scared or disgusted to even touch him. God I HATE him.

I curl further into myself wanting to just, disappear. The temperature in the room seems to rise the longer I cry.

(Time skip)

Like, ten minutes later my tears are shed and I have nothing left but this room. I lay, staring at the ceiling, feeling a void fill me. I feel numb, sad, lonely. I really just want someone to hug me. My strength has left me, I continue to listen to depressing music on my phone and sigh into the still air.

Everything seems like it's frozen in time, it's only me and my music now. If Touya we're here he'd be kicking the crap out of Dabi. Smiling sadly I imagine what he would do. Touya would bring me ice cream, a blanket and then leave to Fuck up Dabi. Touya would probably give him some speech about staying away from me, me being to good for Dabi anyway and that kinda thing. Then he would beat the shit out of Dabi and come back and comfort me. He knew how, with affection and plenty of cuddles.

I really miss Touya. Sometimes I wonder what he would be doing now, if he were still alive. Before my parents kicked me out I used to go see him. A little grave in the back of the endeavor house hold, sits a little pond and his stone. I would bring flowers, and on the anniversary of his death I would have a picnic with him. I would talk to him, his spirit, all day. I'd pretend he was there, listening. Sometimes it felt like he actually was, and it warmed my heart.

Dabi was his supposed to be his replacement of sorts I guess. I really shouldn't be that upset about what happened earlier because we aren't dating and he obviously doesn't return my feelings bit it still stung. Damn. How am I gonna tell Toga so she doesn't murder him. And how am I supposed to avoid Dabi now?
_______________________________

I'm so sorry. This is why I haven't updated in weeks. I didn't want to write this but I'm feeling sad so... Now you are too. The vibes: Kirapika is now drowning in an indescribable emptiness. 👌